I was in my late 30's and nothing was going right. I was working in a building supplies yard picking up rubbish for minimum wage. I thought I had a bright future but everything just seemed to go wrong somewhere.
I'd picked up this job from an agency and soon got some H.G.V. (heavy goods vehicle) work, having just got my licence. But things just got worse and worse and worse! I had a number of crashes while driving on jobs delivering. I hit a bridge, a car and managed to drop someone's chutney - a whole pallet load, much to the owners dismay! That wasn't my best day - nor his.
Things were conspiring against me, I thought. Everywhere I went, devastation followed. My relationships were in tatters and my debt was growing. And it seemed there was nothing I could do to turn it all around.
I had remembered watching The Secret a few years earlier and losing patience with my efforts to 'manifest' my dream life (within a week)! Perhaps I was being too impatient! I knew there had to be something in it, so I decided to go back to the drawing board. I quit my job too. I had crashed twice for the same company and was costing them by the day! Just turning up back to the office made my skin crawl, knowing how useless I was!
Things had been better.
I had a huge debt sitting over me and was paying my rent on a credit card. I was just stressed out all the time. This was probably why things spiralled out of control.
I bought every book I could find on the subject of the law of attraction. I was soon in a far better state of mind, despite all the problems which hung over me. I picked up some work and started teaching a martial arts classes, something that had been a passion for years.
Things that I had given up on turned up to help me get back on track. Years earlier I had trained to do stunt work but my self-esteem had got so low that I had almost written it off as a bad idea. I picked up a few jobs and was able to pay off most of my credit card debt within a period of about 6 months.
My then girlfriend left me. I was away working on a film when it happened. I fell back into victim mode but knew I had to stay positive. I was beginning to realise that my state was the most important thing, and it was also my worse enemy.
Over the previous several months I had read every book I could find which mentioned the law of attraction: Working with the law by Raymond Holliwell, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, Wallace Wattles - The Science Of Getting Rich, As A Man Thinketh, James Allen and so on and so on!
All these books taught the law of attraction and explained it in far greater detail than was explained in the movie The Secret. In the film The Secret, it is explained as thoughts becoming things. When I first saw the film, I was inspired but I didn't fully understand it. I thought I understood it but it was only superficial. I watched my thoughts and dreamt of what I wanted, but somehow things kept showing up that I didn't want.
Turns out I wasn't as positive as I thought I was! Despite spending a few hours meditation and visualising what a great life I would be having, it became clear later that I spent the rest of my time complaining and worrying. Not useful when you're trying to attract the wonderful life.
The problem was my life was worry (for me)! I was focusing on what was, not what could be. So I kept reinforcing the old patterns of behaviour and creating the 'stuff' to complain about.
Despite the short-term rest-bite which work gave me, I was unable to spend my time in any kind of enjoyment. I always defaulted back to my worry-some state of mind and over working in some way. My only escape from this state of mind which I constantly revisited was in getting drunk whenever the opportunity presented itself.
This of course didn't help my state of mind nor my bank balance. Whenever I gave up drinking, my life seemed to dramatically improve. I had money, work came in and things got better. But with the constant worrying and obsessing over needing a more secure source of income, plus having a lot of time off, I would inevitably find my self back on the booze!
When I finally clued up to this pattern I was creating, things began to change. I found an online mentorship program and learned how to market my kung fu school more effectively as well as build an online business. This gave me something to focus my restless mind on - which is what I was in desperate need of.
Having the right people in my life now is completely invaluable. I realise I had cut myself off from people and was spending a lot of time alone. This itself led to depression and anxiety. However, my connection to the online community meant I could network and meet up in person with other like-minded people. There was a resource online to connect to through social media and I started meeting people in my local area.
Through using what I believe to be the law of attraction, I've managed to escape the 9 to 5 jobs I hated so much, get out of a rut and overcome lack of confidence, fear and panic. I'm now able to work from home and teach martial arts without a job, a boss or to answer to anyone. It wasn't easy, but if I can do it, so can you!
What do you believe about the law of attraction. Will you take the red pill or the blue pill? Take the blue pill and the story ends, wake up in bed and believe whatever you want to believe. Take the red pill and you stay in wonderland and see how far the rabbit hole goes...
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