We all have our past and we often grow to bitterly regret our mistakes due to the scars they left. While some brood on the past and 'still' feel the pain, some of us have learnt our lessons and moved ahead. I know that some 'cuts' go deeper that the carrier may feel he/she will or may not recover on planet earth, but one good thing we can do to ourselves is to gather momentum from all possible angles and places, and then face the rest of our lives.
One quote (and lesson) that has helped me in this regard is what John L. Manson said in his famous book, An Enemy called Average. He said and I quote, "Too much analysis always lead to paralysis". Bob Gass in " Starting Over" also said that "It is not what you have lost that matters, but what you have left". I hope those quotes help anyone who's presently finding it hard to let go of the past, too.
Yes, youthful exuberance. I often say that the tertiary institution is a place of partial freedom. Higher percentage of undergraduate barely have a relative around the school vicinity. They live and act as desired. Most of us have come to know it's merits and demerits.
I was fine during my 100 and 200 level days result wise, at least I maintained my CGPA. My 300L days (second semester to be precise) saw the experience of three carryovers! Imagine failing three courses in a semester. I admit that I was distracted. I'd lost focus. I simply lost enthusiasm. And I paid for it.
Sadly, any carryover in 300 level in my school will be rewritten in the finals (500l), that's if you qualify for the Internship year (400l). That's the way my school runs. If you failed beyond expected number of unit courses, you'll stay back at 300l till you sort yourself.
I was bittered. It seemed like the whole world was crumbled. My person and the 'respect' I've earned on campus is becoming a story. I didn't see anything good about it. To worsen the situation, this sad incident met me holding one of the most regarded Christian student offices on campus.
I didn't bother querying God 'cause I knew I was solely responsible. Like I said, I was tired of school. The while thing appeared like 'slavery'.
Days later, friends and senior friends who could scold me did just what they had to do. Those who looked up to me felt disappointed. I felt lost. I felt unfulfilled.
Weeks later, the LORD spoke to me. In simplicity, what God told me was that what happened was 'nothing' - the only way He could console me was to say that. He told me its wasn't the end, that I still have the chance to rewrite the examinations and then do better. Categorically, the LORD said "your mistake can still be corrected"! Alas, I was relieved. There and then He contrasted the topic, and told me that the only mistake I cannot afford to make is to fail in any course I am currently writing.
I sure got and understood the fact that He said my mistake can still be corrected. But I didn't get the last statement. I've learnt to keep silent/quiet, and later turn to my scripture whenever I do not understand anything God has said.
Hours later, I realised God was talking about my Christian journey. He was reminding me of heaven. He was in essence telling me that the only mistake that cannot be corrected is to fail in life. The only 'doom' God sees as doom is that which will befall man on the last day.
I then called to myself and told myself to gather strength and face the 'shame of sitting in a carryover class'. Yes, in my school, if you do not attend classes, you're bound to fail the course(s) again.
Thence, I regarded my carryovers as a practical lesson from God to remind me how terrible it will be for anyone who miss out. I felt the pain of failing. I still can't measure its degree. I then realized that if a mistake that can be corrected is felt so badly, how much more that which CAN NEVER BE CORRECTED?
Dear, I believe I've shared this experience as timely as I can. No life failure is everlasting. Even the ones we feel can't be corrected can be forgotten. The death of a loved one isn't something so easy to forget, but you'll still forget. That's nature. What had happened to you that you feel you must be in the pain scene for ever? It isn't worth it. As a matter of reality, nothing is worth it. Just let go and do yourself a favour. This is the favour: you feel so pained right? It's fine. Can you quantify the pain? Certainly no. Do you sometimes forget about this pain and live normal sometimes? Yes. At worst, you go for few hours without thinking about it. I know I'm right. You're getting over it gradually. Hours with turn days and days, weeks, and on and on till you only recollect when the scenario warrants.
But think of this. Do you think missing heaven will be a temporary experience? Being in hell fire WILL NOT BE TEMPORARY. Make your greatest decision of returning to God (through Jesus Christ) TODAY AND NOW. Tomorrow may just be too late.
If you're ready to receive Him as your Lord and personal saviour, or you want to rededicate your Christian faith, just place your right hand on your chest and utter these words with belief in your heart; Lord Jesus, I belief that you came into the world in the flesh, in form of a man, I believe you died for my sins, I believe that you're the son of God, and that by His power you resurrected in the third day. I have come to you with faith, please purge me of my iniquities and grant me an obeying heart of flesh ti at all times do your will. I accept you into my life today, please be my Lord and Saviour. From now and forevermore let me be all yours, in Jesus' mighty name. Amen.
If you have uttered those words with faith, believe that you're now a child of God.
Remember, there's a mistake that can NEVER be corrected; it is a mistake of missing heaven.
Thanks for reading. Don't forget to share, like and comment. Shalom!
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