1. Akpos insisted that his first child must bear his name. So on the day of naming.
Rev: Which name would you like your child to bear?
Akpos: With smiles all over his face he said, Akpos!
Rev: No! He has to bear an English name.
Akpos: Ok oh, Akposky!
Rev: Listen, your son should be named after a saint in the bible.
Akpos: Nawa oh, which kind wahala be this?? Ok oga pastor, my son will bear St. Akpostus.
2. A primary school pupil looked so sad, so her teacher asked. Whats the problem Nkechi? I hope its not homework again.
Well, uh, yes, it is, replied Nkechi I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane.
Nkechi, youre right, that was a very stupid thing to do, said the teacher, but Ill let you just unfold the paper and submit it.
Oh, but that wont work, said Nkechi, looking even sadder. You see, the plane was hijacked.
3. If boys are not careful, they would date the same girl twice. They would be like...
BOY: You look familiar.
GIRL: Yes you dated me in 2012 I was dark then.
4. One day Akpos was walking in the street? He met Edet who asked him what had happened to his ears as both were covered with bandages.
He said "I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron, and so I burnt my ears"
Edet asked, "So what happened to your other ear?"
He said, "That same stupid guy called again!"
5. A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.
"My father grows beans," said one girl.
"My mother cooks beans," said a boy.
Akpos spoke up, "We are all human beans."
6. During a burial ceremony the Rev stated "this man lying here was a honest, truthful and faithful husband and father..."
The late man's wife turned to her son and said "Junior please go and check if that man lying in the coffin is your dad."
7. Akpos was introduce in a new school:
TEACHER: There will be an elementary science test next week.
Contrary to his nature, Akpos reads his book from cover to cover like no man's business.
On test day, teacher lines up about 5 birds, covering each with a piece of cloth so only their legs are visible.
QUESTION 1: Looking at the leg of a bird write down its common name, species, family, zoological name, habitat etc.
After about 20 mins of frustration and not writing down anything, Akpos storms to the teacher's desk and slams his blank sheet in front of the teacher.
AKPOS: Sir, this test makes no sense! I am going home!
TEACHER: What a rude boy! Come back here. What is your name?
Akpos raises his trouser and points to his leg "Oya, you too, look at my leg and tell me my name, my surname, my house address, what tribe I come from...."
8. If you are waiting for a man who is Honest Handsome, Understanding, Adorable, Responsible, Nice, Loving, Faithful and Rich...
Be patient... JESUS IS COMING!!
9. A man takes his seat at a world cup final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy.
MAN: Who would ever miss the world cup final?
GUY: That was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.
MAN: That's terrible, but couldn't you have brought another family member, friend or someone else with you?
GUY: No...they are all at the funeral!
10. Takes car to a mechanic...
AMERICAN MECHANIC: We need to run some tests before we know the problem
NIGERIA MECHANIC: "On am! Off am! On am again! Off am... Oga na radiator".
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