TEACHER: Did you finish your homework?JOHNNY: Did you finish marking my test? TEACHER: I have other children's tests to mark.JOHNNY: I have other teachers' homework to do.
Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny. The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was. Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed "Jesus Christ!" And fell back to sleep. A little while later the teacher asked Sally who created our world. Johnny poked her in the butt again and Sally screamed "oh my god!" And fell back to sleep. Later the teacher asked Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child. Johnny poked her in the butt and Sally screamed "if you stick that thing in me one more time Im gonna break it!"
He Says He's Too Smart For 2nd Grade, So His Teacher Puts Him To The Test
A second grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was, and he replied, "I'm too smart for the second grade, my sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than her too."
The teacher took him to the principal's office and explained the situation to him.
The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question, he would go back to the second grade and be quiet.
The teacher and Johnny both agreed.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Principal: "6 x 6?"
So, it went on like this. The principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally, after about an hour, he told the teacher, "I see no reason why Johnny can't go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right."
The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agreed.
Teacher: "What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?"
Teacher: "What do you have in your pants that I don't have?" The principal gasped, but before he could stop him from answering, Johnny answered.
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Teacher: What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?"
The principal breathed a big sigh of relief and said: "Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself."
Akpos enter into a pharmacy, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a tea spoon. He pours some liquid onto the tea spoon and offers it to the chemist's assistant, "Could you taste this please?" says Akpos. The Chemist assistant takes the tea spoon, put it in his mouth, swills the liquid and swallows it. "Does it taste sweet?" says Akpos. "No, not at all" says the Chemist assistant. "Good!" says Akpos "The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar."
Akpos bought a Lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decided to test it at dinner: …
Akpos : Son where were you today during school hours?
SON : At school (robot slaps the Son and he immediately changes his mind) Okay I went to the movies!
Akpos : Which one?
SON : Harry Potter (robot slaps Son again!) Okay I was watching p*rn.
Akpos : What? When I was your age I didn’t even know p*rn! (robot slaps Akpos)
MUM : hahahahaha! After all he is your Son! (robot gives Mum a hot slap)
"This is Captain Akpos speaking, on behalf of my crew and I, I'd like to welcome you on board flight 633 from New York to Lagos. "We are on the air above 36,000 feet across the Atlantic Ocean. If you look outside the window, you will see that the wing has fallen off and the engine is on fire. "If you look down the window, you will see a little yellow boat on the ocean. Inside the boat are 3 people waving at you, that's me, the Co-pilot and your Air hostess. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"
Akpos came home crying from school. His father went back with him to find out why his teacherbeat him.
PAPA: Ma. Why did you beat my son?
TEACHER: Ask your son what he did?
PAPA: Akpos, what did you do?
AKPOS: I asked her why is Bra singular when it covers two items and Panties plural when it coversjust one item?
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