Sign in
Download Opera News App

Relationships Parenting Wedding

 

Love relationship

 

Dating Romantic

40 funny jokes that'll make you laugh

1. I will sign my marriage certificate with pencil. I don't trust girls .

2. My first kiss was when I was 6 months old ... All these neighbours be sucking my lips .. They thought I don't know anything .

3. Before you start any relationship make sure you have airtime.(full stop) .

4. We all once pretended to fall asleep in our rooms just because we don't want to greet the visitors .

5. An Ijebu man telling you "WAIT AND SEE" Is like MTN telling you, you have only one minute remaining .

6. Real men ask for account number why boys ask for phone number Ladies are My communicating .

7. Am looking for a girl friend that will look into my eyes and say to me "" baby we have suffered too much , use me for ritual .""" do we still have such girls .

8. Seriously, after smokers, the next people who are liable to die young are those who don't mind their business. .

9. Dat Ashawo Life Dat Got You An IPhone Will Surely Buy U A CarNever Give Up My Sister .

10. If you want to bleach, bleach with sense, don't come and be looking like traffic light. Yellow face, Green veins and Red neck .

11. To the ladies with flat ass, please tie your babies on your stomach. I saw a baby hanging on it's mother's thighs .

12. Teacher enters class and wrote " Can there be a healthy relationship without money? " Sade stood up angrily and said because I asked for 1000 last night, you've brought it to class. .

13. When they say study maths, you refused. Now ya pregnant cos you're unable to calculate your period.

. 14. Before you go out for Morning Walk today, Remember "A rabbit runs but lives only 15years, meanwhile a tortoise doesn't run, does nothing and lives 250 years" .

15. We that we're using our Saturday morning to sleep we know what we are doing .

16. Junior caught his dad red handed with their maid. Dad told junior "take this 200 and don't tell ur mum pls" the son answered, "but dad this is unfair, mum gave 500 when I caught her with the gateman and 1000 when I caught her with the driver"... ooh daddy add something pls............ .

17. WOMEN NO GO ALLOW WAHALA TO SLEEP? A man returned home one evening very drunk. To prevent his wife from knowing he's drunk to avoid trouble, he quickly took his 'laptop' pretending he is busy doing something on it. His wife went close to him and asked Wife: You are drunk again, abi? Husband: Me drunk? You've started again oo Wife: Then why are you typing on your brief case? .

18. You can't be a nurse and be ugly. I can't come and be fearing injectionand your face. .

19. Breast size A man went to buy breast wear for his wife but was confused about the breast size of his wife.... Shopkeeper: is the breast size of ur wife as big as a pawpaw? Man: No Shopkeeper: what about a mango? Man: No Shopkeeper: is the breast size like an egg?? Man: yes!! but when fried. .

20. Some girls be like."my ex left a big hole in my heart which nobody can fill. My sister don't deceive us we all know where the big hole is ok? !!!! .

21. That guy who discovered milk What was he doing with the cow's breast in the first place??? .

22. She told me she was coming to my place by 9pm, But she came by 7 pm & caught me with another woman...How can I forgive her for lying to me?? She's not trustworthy .

23. Behind everyhigh heel, there are slippers waiting for substitution in thehandbag... .

24. Telling a guy u have a boyfriend will not make him leave u alone just ask for 5k , he will be d one to ask u, don't u hav a bf? .

25. Comment if your mum is still owing you the money visitors gave you when you were young Mummy, pay us our pension!!!

*MIDWEEK JOKES*

26. No matter how sweet a text message is,it can

never be compared to the joy of Mobile Money

alert

27. I Stopped Watching Ghanaian Movies When A

Mango Fell From The Coconut Tree

28. Girls in 2020, please reduce your cheating

rate

At least one guy per local government

29. If you undress yourself and walks toward me

sexually,

I will just lose my belt and flog you

I hate nonsense

30. My landlord's daughter is pregnant but she

has not yet confessed the guy responsible. But

as for me, I'm going to my hometown to see my

people. It's been a long time.

31. Yoruba Girls like dating Yoruba boys just to

avoid speaking English. I dey my house come

and beat me

32. Those that did Agricultural Science in HIGHER

INSTITUTION, Why do Chickens run before

having sex? Are they playing hard to get or

what?

33. Book wey no enter head go enter exam hall

Wo, I cannur coman goan kill myself

34. *I saw a girl's father coming with a knife to

this group, I try to ask him why, he says

someone is dating his Daughter in this group...

Please if u know you are dating someone's

daughter please send me airtime so I can give

you more information*

Don't thank me I'm a cool hearted guy

35.*Witchcraft is when your boyfriend uses

different condom flavours on every round, and

you go home smelling like fruit salad*

36. WEDDING NIGHT CONFESSION

HUSBAND: I'm sorry I have slept with a lot of

prostitutes

WIFE: I knew it , your face looks familiar

Husband fainted

37. *Blame ur profile Picture If U Text a Girl n

She Doesn't Reply*..

38. Funny thing about some men that flirt a lot

with pretty girls.. They end up getting married to

ugly girls

39. *I'm still waiting for the day I will enter a

plane then once we get to the skies,I will

escape through the backdoor and enter

Heaven*

40. *When a girl comes to visit you in the night

and it starts to rain heavily that's when u realise

that God does not forget is children...

Content created and supplied by: Bonny21 (via Opera News )

Ashawo Dat MTN

COMMENTS

Load app to read more comments