Friday, July 17, 2020
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Don't Break Down, Get Yourself Together And Move On
I may not completely be wrong if I say that breakup is the most dreaded experience for lovers in a serious relationship. Many people see breakup as a gun shot while others say it is likened to a 'mini-death'.
It should however, be noted that this dreaded experience if not properly handled could live long enough in the mind of the victim.
The experience seems like a nightmare to see someone whom you once profess undying love for, 'your personal person' break up with you after a scary tale of emotional conflicts like anger, depression, bitterness, shock and the likes might have ensued.
Against this background, let's take a look at the afore mentioned in a more detailed manner that you would understand exactly how it feels to be in that situation.
1. The angered party would seek vengeance which turns out to be a mission to be accomplished at all costs. You may hear things like; "how could he do this to me?" He must surely pay for it.
2. Depression sets in and you begin to think "why am I so unlucky or unloved? Am I not good enough?". This is where acute inferiority complex sets in.
3. The shocked may say; "I can't believe this, it's a joke! She/he will surely change his/her mind, it cannot be over". Only to continue waiting and hoping against hope.
The popular saying, "time heals all wound", will obviously sound hollow to someone who has suffered heartbreak. This is so because time only plays a role in the solution but is definitely not the solution. A cut in your skin will heal with time, but it hurts now.
You need to stop the bleeding and soothe the pain. You also need to keep it from being infected. This also applies to emotional wounds. It may hurt right now but there are steps that must be taken to lessen the pain of break up and keep the wound from being infected with bitterness, hatred and the likes.
Time won't do this part for you, you need more than just time. And for the purpose of this article, I'm going to share with you ways to cope with heartbreak and let your emotions heal.
First you need to:
A. Allow Yourself Time To Grief:
There is absolutely nothing wrong in crying if you have to. After all, the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:4 "there is a time to weep". Shading tears doesn't mean you are weak. It is just a natural way of expressing pain. It can be a useful relief for grief.
B. Share The Grief:
Whenever a heavy load is shared between two or more, it becomes lighter. You need to talk to someone who cares about you; preferably, your pastor, mentor or a counsellor. This could go a long way not only to ease your pain, but offer you direction.
C. Do Well To Forgive:
In a state of hurt, forgiveness is usually the last thing on our to-do list, that is if it even make the list in the first place. But in the words of John Mason "when you forgive, you set two prisoners free; the forgiven and you the forgiver." This act will liberate your soul from the smothering pangs of helpless regrets.
D. Try To Keep Busy:
Don't stop doing the things that interest you. And now more than ever, don't isolate yourself.
In conclusion, my advice is that you pray to God. A song writer wrote "earth has no hurt heaven can't heal". But like we know praying at such times can be very difficult if not impossible because after a breakup, some people even feel betrayed by God. God is not sadistic in his actions. He loves you so much and sometimes the breakup can even be a blessing in disguise.
I just hope this was helpful as I expect you to activate your mind to be heal of any hurt in the past so that your future relationship will thrive.
Take note that all photos in this article is for the purpose of illustration. Any semblance of a real person should be ignored.
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