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31 Quotes And Jokes That Can Make You Laugh

Jokes give joy and peace of heart from all the tension and worries of the day....the following are jokes that can make you laugh...I wish my wallet came with free refills.

[1] Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.

[2[ Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

[3] Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.

[4] Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

[5] When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

[6] Don’t ever wrestle with a pig. You’ll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it.

[7] Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor.

[8] As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.

[9] I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow.

[10] Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet.

[11] I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.

[12] Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

[13] I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

[14] You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

[15] Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!

[16] I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor.

[17] My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.

[18] I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.

[19] Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

[20] My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

[21] If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

[22] I'm not single because I don't pray for love. I'm single because I don't play around with love.

[23] Dear heart, please fall in love only when you're ready, not when you're lonely.

[24] I don't consider myself. 'SINGLE & ALONE' I consider myself ' INDEPENDENT & AVAILABLE'.

[25] I'm single. You're single. You like me. I like you. Am I missing something?

[26] I'm single because i am saving myself for someone who deserves me.

[27] feels like walking up to someone and kissing them just for the hell of it.

[28] Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath.

[29] Walked into a room, forgot what you needed, walked out, and then remembered.

[30] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me 

[31] Wife: I have changed my mind. Husband: Does the new one work? Kindly share these post with friends on social media..>

Content created and supplied by: johnny5 (via Opera News )

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