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Tiwa Savage, Jane Mena And The Tapes: Why Is The Woman Shamed?

Amid Tonto Dikeh and Prince Kpokpogri's breakup, one unsuspecting victim was involved in the mess- Jane Mena. As they say on social media, "stray bullet went to meet her where she was busy minding her business". That's on a lighter note. 

For some weeks now, the messy details of the breakup between Tonto Dikeh and Prince Kpokpogtri have been all over the Nigerian social media space, with many, surprisingly, supporting Tonto, despite her heavily controversial nature. So far, Kpokpogri appears to be on the losing end, as Tonto Dikeh has made a series of allegations against him, all of which have yet to be proven as the matter has evolved into a court case.

While making these astonishing revelations, Tonto Dikeh took to Instagram to warn other women Kpokpogri has had relations with, claiming he made tapes of their activities without their consent. In particular, she mentioned Jane Mena's name, saying he has past and even recent explicit videos of her. The internet almost literally went ablaze immediately. After all, Jane Mena is a married woman and has been one for about two years.

Kpokpogri Has So Much of Your 'Intimate Unclad' Tapes: Tonto Dikeh Exposes  Popular Married Dancer Jane Mena ▷ Legit.ng

L-R: Tonto Dike, Prince Kpokpogri, Jane Mena

Fans of the duo were already anticipating the drama we all knew was about to erupt, but surprisingly, nothing was heard from Jane Mena's camp until some weeks later when she decided to break the silence. She denied the allegations, sued Tonto Dikeh, and in doing so, unknowingly set up a chain of events that would further implicate her. A notorious anonymous blog loyal to Tonto Dikeh released an alleged voice note of Kpokpogri describing his relations with Jane. All those who had doubts immediately started 'dragging' Jane Mena. Why? Because she is a woman and because she is married.

But, it is a crime to record and release such a tape without the agreement of both parties, isn't it? In Nigeria, victims are protected by a 2015 cyber-crime act that made it an offense with up to three years in jail. Is this law even in action?

Before the leak of Prince Kpokpogri's voice note with an anonymous woman, award-winning singer, Tiwa Savage, came out to inform the public that a tape was going to be leaked by a blackmailer because she refused to pay. Some Nigerians refused to believe her and tagged it PR as she was about to release the video to a song she had spent some time promoting. Eventually, the tape was released, and so far, the response from the public, including co celebs, has been overwhelming. While a large percent of social media users sympathized with her, others took to shaming and blaming her because she is a woman and a mother. 

L-R: Tiwa Savage, Jane Mena

But is that all she is? Why is the woman blamed?          

The practice of slut-shaming is not new. It is mostly targeted at women who engage in sexually explicit behavior or have inclinations that society does not consider acceptable. Slut-shaming has expanded in recent years to include mocking people who engage in sexual behaviors on camera, including videos posted without consent. Again, the majority of the victims are women.

What may appear as harmless pokes and jabs at a person's character can have terrible psychological implications. In 2015, a video showing Tiziana Cantone, an Italian lady, performing a sexual act on a guy was posted on the internet without her permission. Tiziana was subjected to a flood of abuse and humiliation, with viewers mocking her on Facebook, Whatsapp, and other social media platforms. It got to the point that Tiziana relocated from Tuscany to Naples and tried to change her name. Tiziana committed suicide on September 13th, 2016, while in the middle of a lawsuit over the video. Unfortunately, Tiziana is one of many women whose lives have been destroyed by cyber harassment.

Tiziana Cantone: la sua storia diventa un docufilm Netflix

Tiziana Cantone

Ironically, once the curtains are drawn, and sex comes to the fore on our devices, we become drooling weirdos, eager to humiliate people through self-gratifying abuse. We can't talk about intercourse within the confines of a healthy conversation  To live as a sexual being right now is to be an outsider; 'the other' – especially if you are a woman.

Different sexual practices are appropriate for men and women, according to (hetero)sexual double standards. Women/girls are traditionally expected to be sexually reactive, submissive, and passive, whereas men/boys are expected to be sexually active, dominant, and the initiator of the (hetero)sexual activity. Furthermore, men have generally been given more sexual freedom than women. As a result, men and women may receive different treatment for the same actions.

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Photo: Comic depicting (hetero)sexual double standards.

In a society where women are told to feel shame for being exposed online, an increasing number of women are talking about their experiences. We should encourage women to speak up and provide them with the support they need to move on. If anyone should be held accountable, it should be the person behind the camera (without consent) and the person who put the video out. If we are ever going to end this taboo surrounding individual sexual identity, gratification, and pleasure for one's self, we need an honest discussion about sex in the present age. 

The good news is that Tiwa owned her story and had complete control over the narrative. Women having intercourse outside of the setting of sexual exploitation is normal and should be acceptable. Deal with it.

Content created and supplied by: FolakeGold_01 (via Opera News )

Jane Jane Mena Tiwa Savage Tonto Tonto Dikeh

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