1-Yo' Mama is so ugly, she wore a paper sack when you went to see Santa so Santa wouldn't cry for the photo.
3-My mom always tried to make birthdays special for me. One year, she put a life-sized inflatable clown in my room, like it'd be neat when I woke up. Let me just tell you guys -- you don't know fear until you wake up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, and there in the darkness is what appears to be a man in a clown outfit, watching you while you sleep. My knees buckled immediately out of fear. What made it even more scary is that he didn't even move. He just stayed focused: 'Happy Birthday.
4-Every year for my birthday, she would make me a birthday cake from scratch, and then she would let me lick the egg beaters. And then she would turn them on, and that would hurt my tongue.
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