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1. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket. (William Rogers)
2. "I am going to to call my kids CTRL, AlT and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once".
3. "By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong". (Charles Wadsworth)
4. " Men marry women with the hope that they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed". (Albert Einstein)
5. "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man".
6. "Before you critize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you critize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes". (Jack Handley)
7. "A day without sunshine is like you know not night". (Steve Martin)
8. "A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I am afraid of width". (Steven Wright)
9. House work can't kill you, but why take a chance?". (Phyllis Diller)
10. "A stock broker urged me to buy a stock that would triple it's value every year. I told him, at my age, I don't even buy green bananas". (Claude Pepper)
11. My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me". (Winston Churchill)
12. "The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby". (Nathalie Wood)
13. "I will never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong". (Bertrand Russell)
14. "I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it". (W.C Fields)
15. " A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: she changes it more often". (Oliver Hereford)
16. " Champions are not supernatural, they just fight for one more second than everyone else quits".
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