Anxiety is the most common cause of a mother becoming a "control freak." It claims that when mothers leap to the worst-case situation right away, it puts them in ultra-protective mode, which is similar to controlling. Mom also wants everything to go her way because she thinks it will prevent the horrible incident from happening in the first place. While being a domineering mother may stem from a place of love and concern for her children, it can be harmful to them. Below are ways being a control freak mum can harm your kids.
1. Instead of guiding her children, a controlling mother gives orders.
It is our responsibility as mothers to help our children make the best decisions possible. A domineering mother, on the other hand, does not guide her children; she commands them. A controlling mother ordering her child to go to bed at a set time is an example of this. This deprives the child of the opportunity to experience a natural outcome. They do not stay up later than usual, and they must deal with the fatigue the next day. This takes away a valuable learning opportunity for youngsters that would otherwise be lost if they were just ordered to do something. However, because bedtimes are useful, this is simply an example.
2. Control instill fear in children
Children learn about the world from their parents, and they are experts at detecting tension and turning it into dread. If they grow up with a dominating mother, they will be fearful of making a mistake. If they spill the milk, they will start sobbing because they are afraid of getting into trouble. Making mistakes is one of the most effective ways to learn, and we must allow our children to fail in other to learn.
3. Over-identification or inability to tune in to their child.
Control freak parents are less likely to be open and sensitive to their children's needs. The majority of the time, their primary concern is for themselves. As a result, they prefer to plan activities and jobs in a way that is convenient for them. While every child requires structure, having a child's life planned out eliminates spontaneity and fun. It also ignores a child's originality and uniqueness. Some control freaks have an unhealthy obsession with their offspring. As a result, you may encounter a mother who is always berating teachers for their child's discomfort at school. Some parents are ready to pick fights that could easily be avoided. This is frequently a sign of the parent's problems, not the child's.
4. Transitioning to adulthood is difficult
Controlling parents' children have a hard time transitioning from childhood to adulthood. You can't expect a youngster who has never known independence to have the maturity and problem-solving skills to make all the right decisions all of a sudden. When children make independent decisions, control-freak parents sometimes make them feel terrible and disloyal, worrying they will disappoint their overbearing parents. Controlling parenting approaches stifle development and frequently result in undesirable co-dependency behaviors.
5. There will be no natural repercussions.
If you insist your 14-year-old put on a jacket because it's chilly outside, he won't learn what happens if he doesn't. If you always intervene to prevent a fight between your children, they will never learn to resolve conflicts on their own. When it's safe, let your children experience natural consequences. That means you'll have to put up with your child making mistake or doing things you wouldn't do yourself. When you're not used to giving up control, it can be challenging.
6. Projecting issues and dream
Parents who are control freaks expect their children to follow their wishes. This is something we see a lot with kids who are required to participate in specific sports. Or to pursue a career in a specific field. In essence, a controlling parent can cause serious harm to a child. Children of such parents often feel inadequate throughout their lives. Alternatively, they could be faulty in some way. It's also likely that the child will drift away from you or revolt at some point. If you grew up with a controlling parent, one of the most important life lessons you'll need to master is how to discover your own voice. Learn that you have the right to be yourself and that you are responsible for living the life you desire. Are you having trouble seeing the upside of having a controlling parent? Do you wish to address the reasons for your dominance? A psychologist can assist you in releasing previous baggage or in being a more caring and adaptive parent.
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