There are several things parents need to stop telling their kids. They include;
1. Don’t compare your kids. For example: “Why can’t you be more like…” and “Look, your brother is cleaning HIS room, why don’t you clean yours?”, etc. Comparison isn't a nice thing to tell your kids.
2. Never tell a child he or she performed poorly. As a parent, you need to know the reason for your child's poor performance before you say anything. And if they know the reason, they should rather work in accordance.
3. "Shâme on you" (Kids should be corrected for specific actions, without implying that their whole identity and the core of their being is shâmeful).
4. Never say 'not now' when your child approaches you to talk. The child may never repeat the same thing and everything your child says should be the most important thing at all times.
5. "What’s the matter with you?" (If a parent or adult thinks something is wrong with a child’s behavior, he or she should tell the child what the problem is, and not expect the child to read their mind. Also the way the question is phrased indicates that it isn’t a specific behavior anyway, it is an accusation that something is wrong with the child, that his or her entire being is somehow defective. This isn’t something the child can work on, because it is too big, too vague, and if the child is inherently bad, why try to be better? Such words make a child give up.)
6. "Studies are the only thing you need to be good at". Being Studious may lend your child a job in future, but how they perform is not only a product of their experiences or understandings in life but also of how they handle their emotions.
7. "Do whatever you want.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for encouragement and self-realisation. However, I do have a problem with this one particular sentence (and I’ve heard it way too many times).
You see, it’s not true. We live in a society, a community, and that means there are certain written and unwritten rules we need to follow. “Be yourself” is a wonderful message, “be yourself and don't care about anyone else” is not. When you tell a kid they can do anything, you're leaving it up to them to see the difference, and it often leads to failure and harmful practices.
“Do whatever you want” is a dangerous message. It's not empowering, it's not encouraging, it’s not accepting, it’s just wrong.
Thanks for reading!!
Content created and supplied by: FranklySpeakingwithJeremiah (via Opera News )
Opera News is a free to use platform and the views and opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author and do not represent, reflect or express the views of Opera News. Any/all written content and images displayed are provided by the blogger/author, appear herein as submitted by the blogger/author and are unedited by Opera News. Opera News does not consent to nor does it condone the posting of any content that violates the rights (including the copyrights) of any third party, nor content that may malign, inter alia, any religion, ethnic group, organization, gender, company, or individual. Opera News furthermore does not condone the use of our platform for the purposes encouraging/endorsing hate speech, violation of human rights and/or utterances of a defamatory nature. If the content contained herein violates any of your rights, including those of copyright, and/or violates any the above mentioned factors, you are requested to immediately notify us using via the following email address operanews-external(at)opera.com and/or report the article using the available reporting functionality built into our Platform See More