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Why Your Families are Responsible For Your Poverty, And What You Can Do to Solve The Problem

We Africans always believe that someone is responsible for our poverty level, most especially our families, or let me call it the common name people call it "The Village People". The truth it our families are has a lot to do when it come to how rich or how poor we are. However, it is not the way we picture it or how Soothsayers, Pastors, Herbalists or Alfas present our families to us.

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) Whoever loves to be granted ample provisions and a long life, should maintain good ties with his or her relatives.”[Al-Bukhari]. In a different wording, ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, related that the Prophet added that if such a man also“desires to be protected against an evil end [of life], let him fear Allah The Almighty and maintain good ties with his relatives.” [Al-Bazzaar and Al-Haakim]

If we want to have ample provision, and also get rich, it is our families that we are running away from we need to move to close and do good with them.

Allah Almighty has also warned us against severing the ties of kinship. In Holy Quran Allah (SWT) says: “And those who break the Covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e., they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e., they will be far away from Allah’s Mercy); And for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e., Hell)” (Quran, 13:25)

So many people have not visited their family hause for more than 20 years. I met with some people in Lagos, they said they don't even know the route to their family house again. People are made to believe that there is one old Mama at home that will inflict hardship, sickness, misfortune and calamities on you when you visit your families at home.

Aa’ishah related that the Prophet said: “The womb [i.e., ties of kinship] is suspended from the throne [of Allah The Almighty], saying: Whoever preserves me, Allah will uphold ties with him [or her] and he who severs me, Allah will sever the bond with him.” [Muslim] Allah, The Almighty, positively responds to this plea, thereby treating with kindness, those who keep good relations with family and cutting off those who do not. And, certainly, it would be horrible for a weak, helpless slave if Allah, The Almighty, severed ties with him.

Allah place so much important on kinship tie, and He dislike or frown at anybody who cut that tie. It that tie Allah forbid it cutting that many people now tag as the root of the problem, whereas, the root of your problem is neglecting and forbidding for your families.

Maintaining ties of kinship does not mean visiting, helping or serving one’s relatives in return for similar deeds on their part. True upholding of family relations is to do so with those kith and kin who sever their bond with us. Thus, it refers to visiting relatives who do not visit us, and being good to those who wrong us. ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr ibn Al-‘Aas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrates that the Prophet  said: “A man who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship is not he who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives; rather, he is the one who is on agreeable terms with those kin who have severed [their] bond with him.” [Al-Bukhari]

It not doing good to people doing good to you back means maintaning kinship tie, but doing good to those doing you bad.

In another Hadeeth on the authority of Abu Hurayrah  it was mentioned that a man came to the Prophet  and said: “I have relatives whom I maintain ties with, but they cut me off, and I treat them kindly, but they deal badly with me. I am gentle with them, but they are harsh to me.'' Thereupon, the Messenger of Allah  replied: "If you are as you say, it is as if you are feeding them hot ashes; you will have a supporter from Allah against them, as long as you continue to act the way you are.” [Muslim] 

Imaam An-Nawawi  said: "Hot ashes are used as a metaphor to demonstrate that such relatives bear as much guilt as the pain and agony experienced by the person who eats these ashes. As for the one who treats such relatives kindly, there is no argument against him; rather, they are the ones who commit a grievous sin by mistreating and harming him.”

Moreover, this Hadeeth is a consolation for the many who are afflicted with rude relatives; in their repayment of evil with good and the former’s meeting their wickedness with goodness, it is evident that it is only the latter who are the real losers.

Some people do think that you don't know my families, they are very bad people, no matter how good I am to them they always do me evil. Let me tell you, that is how all families are. If you see the way Allah has put, He said don't allow families tie to cut. It means they would always try to cut it, it is you that would prevent it from cutting. Again if you want your provision to be abundant you need to maintain the families kinship tie.

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Africans Al-Bukhari. Alfas Ali Muhammad


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