Marrying a single man or lady is not same with marrying a man or woman who has once been married before you met him/her because of the situations surrounding them. For instance, their level of experience differ. There is nothing wrong marrying a man or lady who walked out of his/her marriage for reasons best known to him/her.
However, you should not be in a hurry to say, "Yes, I do" to a divorcee without giving it a second thought. It requires critical thinking, assessment and consideration of certain factors before reaching a conclusion of getting married to him/her.
The following among other things are some vital things you should put into consideration before you marry a divorcee to avoid "had I known" in the future.
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1. What led to the end of his/her marriage. There is need for you to first have factual information about what led to the end of his/her last marriage. To achieve this, you need to ask people relevant questions, so as not to blindly marry him/her. You should not ask him/her because you are likely not to get first-hand facts about what truly happened. Why should you know? So as not to be a victim of what happened to his/her last marriage. History has a special way of repeating itself.
2. The relationship status of his/her ex wife or husband. You need to know if the ex husband or wife has remarried or unmarried. Why is this necessary? To avoid any possibility of being confronted by the estranged wife/husband, most especially when they have unfinished business. Trust me, you don't want to be caught up in the middle of such. The ex wife/husband may make life miserable for you in the marriage if he/she does not want anyone to marry the ex partner. The only way you can comfortably and fully have peace is when the ex spouse is already married.
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3. The level of the children's acceptance towards you.
Assuming he/she has children, it is important for you to know if they want you for their father/mother or not. No matter how much the person you are about to marry love you, if the children do not want you in the life of their parent, you will likely have ceaseless issues with them. Your peace of mind cannot be complete without their approval of your marriage to the dad/mom. It is way too risky to attempt.
4. The age of his/her children and who they live with. You should also consider how old the children are (if any) as well as who they live with. If they live with the man or woman you wish to marry, will you be able to cope? Will you treat them the way you would treat your own children? Will you love them the way you love their mom/dad? You have to be sincere with yourself. If you cannot accept them fully into your life, you will have issue with your would be partner when you get married, because he/she won't give you his/her best when you are indifferent about the children.
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