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If You Never had Heartbreak then You are not Mature Yet

Just starting this post makes me laugh already, the thoughts and the pictures it is painting in my mind. You want to know why? Just read on.

When I was a secondary school student, I despised the thought of the boy-girl relationships, not to mention seeing it. Teasing me by calling me your ‘boyfriend’ was a turn off for me; it means you were drawing the big red line.

It was in that context anyone coming to say anything about relationship or heartbreaks seemed like they were talking trash or not man enough or woman enough as the case maybe. You know, “real men are not heartbroken (I thought).”

Fast-forward to some years, I found myself losing sleep because a girl I thought was mine (in my mind), had another boyfriend and it took going for his birthday to understand that I was washing someone else’s car or trying to drive a car I was yet to pay for.

Two things hurt me most: I thought I had found true love, and the second was that the said guy was my junior colleague I was acting all senior for. The truth was, I never told her my intentions, I was enjoying the moment with her and when the reality dawned on me, I picked the information in a devastating play out. I can remember slapping myself severally that night to prove it wasn’t happening to me. Wait! Was it heartbreak? No, that was practically impossible, I am bigger than that (I knew somewhere deep down that I was fooling myself).  

Hey, but this post is not about relationship heartbreak in anyway. Not at all and you would know why.

Have you ever been in a situation where you put money together with someone and the person made away with the money? Or been a friend with someone who you thought the devil could never separate the both of you but the story is different now? What of loosing that special someone to the cold hands of death? Very common and happens often is when you were expecting something to happen yet it didn’t. And many experiences I could keep on citing.

What would you call that? I bet you may likely not have taken that as heartbreak. Anything that had pained you excruciatingly without proper words to really explain how and what you feel is “Heartbreak.”


From the Psychological view of heartbreak, let’s see:


Heartbreak is a type of emotional injury, a sort of chronic emotional pain that happens following what our mind sees at a traumatic experience. According to Dr. Winch, heartbreak can come from a long-term relationship, but it can also happen before the first date. zoosk.com


While the feelings of relationship heartbreak are not different from any other form of heartbreak, the ideas I want to discuss is totally different.


Heartbreaks make us stronger, wiser and more articulate.


In my own opinion, heartbreaks make your mature enough as you realize that life isn’t what you think. You shift from where you where and understand how other people’s approach.


These are the few things heartbreaks has thought me and I would be sharing with you all.


It ended my expectations:

No matter how close or attached I am to you, I stop expecting much. There is nothing you do, I didn’t expect you to do or am I expecting you to do more. We are all humans and frail at some point.

Not just humans, but also with the results I hope to expect. I just don’t over worry myself as much as I can.

I would rather manage the relationship or situation but not leaving in denial that anything could happen tomorrow that might be soar.


The dynamics of human beings and life:

Instead of losing my guards, I understudy you for a while to know my approach towards you and how we can relate. That doesn’t mean that you can be who you were yesterday to me if time progresses. Things might happen.

Also, it doesn’t mean that when I lay hold on something today, it would always be there for me and vice versa.

These changes can come from environment, mood, situations and challenges of the moment.

I tried as much as possible to get myself acquainted with these uncertainties.


Found my strength:

I survived a process I never imagined I could go through. It helped build my emotional and intellectual capacity.

I became as dynamic as the situations I found myself in were, so, I survived.


It made more appreciative:

I didn’t allow the ones I think I lost or actually lost make me forget the ones who have been there and stayed irrespective of the circumstance.

Humans are unique and beautiful aside people who change because of their circumstances.


I let go and lived on:

Most times, we allow our emotions over ride our sense of reasoning. Not everything that seems like it should stay was meant to be ours.

I understood when to let go and when to allow it stay. This would help reduce the tendency of more heartbreaks.


No matter what might have happened, it was meant to build you. One thing I know is that heartbreaks help you evolve or go down if you still one to. The end point is, ‘the choice is yours.’ 

Content created and supplied by: educateyourself (via Opera News )

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