You can love someone and not be compatible. You can be compatible with someone without loving the fellow. When it comes to the success of marriage, love is just a small fish in the river. Compatibility occupies a large space in the success story of every union. If you are compatible with your partner, you can have a successful marriage without loving the person when you find it appealing being around the person and also when you are BOTH intentional in making your marriage work.
On the other hand, you can love someone from here to the moon and back and still have an unsuccessful marriage IF you are NOT compatible.
The big question now is, what is compatibility? It is simply a state of two things FITTING into each other without stress and sweet. Let's take a look at a practical explanation of the term, "compatibility".
Marriage is like a pair of shoe, love is the beauty of the shoe, while the two people involved with each other are the legs. No matter how beautiful a pair of shoe may be, one whose leg is size 45 for instance cannot comfortably wear the shoe which size is 40. If the fellow decides to force his/her legs into the shoe because of the beauty alone, the individual will experience restlessness and pains on his/her legs whole working on them. Similarly, if the one whose leg size is 45 wear a not- too- beautiful shoes of size 45, the person will experience comfort and rest while walking with the shoe.
From the above illustration, you will agree with me that, it is not love that decides how happy and comfortable lovers will be in marriage but the level of compatibility they share.
As I will always tell people, if love alone cannot make marriages successful, we will be having less cases of divorce, because most people married those they loved. What mainly defines the success of any marriage is compatibility. I am not in any way saying that it is wrong to marry those we love. That is not the point. The main thing here is PRIORITY. Before you accept someone into your life for marriage, check for compatibility more than you would check for love because with collective efforts and decisions, you can have a glorious marriage even when you do not love each other very much and vice versa.
How then do you know that you are compatible?
Having similar views and values about marriage.
Sharing similar thoughts about life, child birthing and upbringing.
Having similar religious beliefs.
Sharing common spiritual ideologies.
Arguing less about issues of interest and agreeing more on given subject matters.
Being emotionally fit etc.
If the aforementioned things are in place, there is every high tendency that you will have a successful marriage with you spouse when you tie the knot.
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