Recently on social network a lady stated that " Getting married below the age of 25 is like leaving the club at 9pm"
The post was met with lots of comments. Few against her while some supported . So the issue to discuss is thus :
i. What is the right age to get married ?
ii. Does fun stops after marriage ?
iii. What is the yardstick for a happy marriage ?
Defintion of Marriage
According to wikipedia " in Islamic law(sharia), marriage is a legal and social contract between two individuals. Moreso marriage is the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship. The two people in this context are Men and Women .
Because it is an agreement between two people . We will look at the "age of consent in Nigeria ". According to the constitution the real age of consent in Nigeria is 18 years, supported by the" section 31 (3) (a) of the Child's Rights Act 2003"
Therefore , base on above definitions marriage goes with a recognition ,which could be legally ( court marriage) or formally ( church or traditional). So going back to the first question ;
What is the right age of marriage ?
If the law of consent is from 18 years, does it make it the best age to enter into marriage ? The view is that marriage bags a lot of responsibilities and sacrifices , can a lady or man at such age shoulders it . Whether 18, 25, 30 years, is experience a function of age. Remember that relationship is built on equality to avoid exploitation. This is so critical as the answer to the question raises more questions . So lets look at these hypothetical model between Family A and Family B
Family A : The man is 24 years and the wife is 18 yrs.
The man a graduate and working ( this is possible as as we had a combat pilot at the age of 23). The wife part time student and into salon and fashion. A year later they had a son . After 2 years the boy turns 3 , the mother 21 and the father 27. The mother is imparting the culture of reading and learning to the boy as she also studies etc in the front of the boy( children learn by image). The tender images the boy saw was his mother studying, night reading etc. Fast foward it , 20 years later, the husband is 44, the lady 38 years, the son 20 years. Any need to further explain the nature, beauty and structure of this family? " funny that some might mistake the son as the boyfriend of the mother ". The Respect is consolidated. The youthful strength of the father was spent in bringing up the child. The son sees his father active both in sports and exercises
Family B : The man is 39 and the wife is 28
The husband is a business man . The wife is a civil servant. Both spents approximately 9 hours at work. Five years into the marriage, the father is 44 , almost 4 decades gap. At the prime age of the boy (15 years), the man is 54 . The son will feel pity for his "OLD MAN" not respect. On the part of the wife that would be 43 years. The gap is much , the energy of the man is ebbed. That is why in most cases the children lean more to the mother than the father. This create discord .
Although this model might not reflect the best situation in Nigerian families but the analysis still suggests that to marry young is the best.
What is your take on this as i will discuss the second question on 19/7/20.
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