The initial days of a romantic relationship are perhaps the most passionate ones. Those days of unadulterated romance, surprise dinner dates and stimulating conversations are slowly being replaced by family dinners, trips that are cancelled at the last moment and ‘too tired to talk’ moments as the relationship covers years.
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When monotony creeps in slowly, most couples in a long-term relationship might gradually experience loss of attraction. It’s not uncommon and definitely not a shocker. And couples should not mistake loss of attraction as a lack of love. Attraction is not a choice, and you cannot change your partner - only yourself, and hope he comes along for the ride.
So, here are a few things women can do to bring back that lost attraction in their love life.
1) If you are not sexually attracted to anybody, let alone your husband, have your hormones checked out. Low l*bido is common in women and can be an indication of medical issues that need to be addressed.
2) Start making yourself attractive to all men. Don't worry about whether he is attracted to you or you to him - just get ready to go out on the dating market. Hopefully you will not need to do that - but if you do, you will be in a better position.
3) Take one month for every year you've been together and work on your "low hanging fruit" of attractiveness. If you are overweight, get on a diet and start exercising. If you are very shy or lack feminine graces, work on your social and material fitness. Spend more time with female friends away from the house and him.
4) If you nag him, stop. He's a grown up man and will either take control of his life or be in very real risk of losing you.
5) I don't this one, but it is unfortunately effective. Stop having s*x with him completely (assuming that he still wants to have s*x with you). However, if you see any sign that he is actually getting his act together (e.g. he loses significant weight, say 20 lbs) then make it clear that you like what you see and reward him with mind blowing s**y time.
6) Stop any enabling behavior. If you fix dinner, you need to take charge of his portions and help him with portion control. He will cheat with other food, but that's not your fault. He needs to understand that you will not contribute in any way to his obesity.
7) Try to keep drama out of this as possible. Be matter-of-fact and compassionate, but he has a health condition that only he can fix. Your part is to facilitate that when it is reasonable for you to do so, but not more than that.
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