What to do when a man says he doesn't want you again
It's horrible to be happily seeing a guy for a couple of weeks or months and hear him say, "I just want you to know, I'm not interested in a relationship.
Your mind locks up. You very reasonably wonder why he's been spending time with you. What exactly have you been doing together? And then, you may feel foolish for assuming that you and he wanted the same thing in the first place.
Your best bet is to respond, "I'm so sorry to hear that. I really like you, and I've been having a great time. I thought you felt the same way. I do want a relationship... but with the right guy. I really respect you for letting me know you're not that guy.
Then, do your best to smile. Say goodbye as graciously as you can. If you feel like crying, go for it, but try to hold off until you get home. Whatever you do, do not try to convince him you're the woman for him, or tell him he's making a mistake he'll regret for the rest of his life. If either of those things are true, you'll do very well to let him figure it out for himself.
It's possible that he'll call or text after this discussion and ask you to get together again. Tell him no. Your job is to keep busy, see your friends, and make yourself available for other social opportunities where you can meet the right man.
One of two things will happen:
Eventually, the guy will get the hint and drop off your radar, or he'll realize he's been hasty in letting a good thing go. He'll do himself a favor and let you know very clearly that he does not want to lose you.
If this happens, please be careful his intention isn't to string you along. Insecure men, sociopaths, and egomaniacs thrive on having a little fan on hand to reassure them of their desirability. Protect yourself from the possibility he's one of these people by not being overly available. Take your time responding to his calls and texts. Keep your life full of activities and other friends, always.
If you discovered that you were more attracted to the guy after he told you he didn't want a relationship, consider the possibility that you are the commitment-phobe in this scenario. When you consistently want men who don't want you, you don't really want a boyfriend.
If you don't want a committed relationship, that's fine. Respect that. Know what you want and act accordingly. This is your life we're talking about.
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