"Are you still a virgin"? The very question might make you cower! After all, in many places a youth who is a virgin is likely to be viewed as a curiosity, an oddball. No wonder so many young people have sex before they are out of their teens!
Pulled by Desire, pushed by peers
If you are a Christian, you know that the Bible tells you to "abstain from fornication". Still you might find it hard to control your sexual urges. At times, thoughts about sex enter your mind without any apparent cause or reason. Be assured that to a large extent, such feelings are normal.
However, being the victim of unrelenting teasing and harassment for being a virgin is no fun at all! For instance, what if your peers tell you that you are not a real man or woman unless you have had sex? Your peers make sex seem exciting and normal. If you are not sleeping around, you are classed as weird.
But there is a side to premarital sex that your peers may not talk about. For example, Mary, who had sex with her boyfriend, recalls: " Afterwards I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I hated myself and I hated my boyfriend." Such experiences are more typical than most youths realize. In reality, premarital sex is often an emotionally painful experience, with devastating consequence!
However, a youth once asked, "Why would God give young people sexual desires, knowing that they should not use them until after marriage"? That's a good question. But consider the following:
Are sexual urges the only strong feelings you experience? Not at all. God created you with capacity to feel a wide range of desires and emotions.
Do you have to act on each impulse the instant that it wells up inside you? No, for God also made you with ability to control your actions.
What's the lesson, then? You may not be able to keep certain desires from arising, but you can control your reaction to them. Really, to act upon every sexual urge would be as wrong and foolish as hitting someone each time you felt anger.
The fact is, God never intended for us to misuse our procreative powers. "Each one of you should know how to get possession of his own vessel in sanctification and honor", says the Bible. Just as there is " a time to love and a time to hate", there is also a time to act on sexual urges and a time to refrain from doing so. Ultimately, you are in control of your desires!
But what can you do if someone taunts you, saying with disbelief, "Are you really still a virgin? Don't be intimidated. To a person who really wants to put you down, you could say: " Yes, I am still a virgin, and you know what? I'm glad I am"! Or you could say, "That is a personal matter I don't discuss with others."
What do you think? Does it worth it for an individual to keep his/her virginity till marriage? We welcome your opinion
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