One of the common thing is most relationship nowaday, people in a relationship fights over small things, while some people see fights as healthy as long as it doesnt excalate. Personally, Fighting no matter how small tends to build up in time and it is the root of the breaking up of most relationship.
Here are things that causes fights in a relationship and how to stop it.
Stop being Defensive
It’s normal and natural to want to become immediately defensive and want to be in the right when a fight erupts. You may feel attacked, wronged, or blamed for something you didn’t do. Taking criticism or statements from your partner as personal only adds fuel to the fire. But, objectively evaluating the situation is the best course. Did you say or do something causing hurt to them? If so, work to make it right. Stop thinking only about yourself if you are wrong man up admit it and don't blame your partner
This could include apologizing, fixing what happened, or just asking how you can make it right. Often, it isn’t about you as a person, but what happened. Be receptive to what the other person has to say and internalize it, asking questions if you need to.
Step out to Cool Down
Often during a fight, our thoughts and emotions can become cloudy or irrational , and we might end up doing or saying things we don't mean. Fighting in this mindset causes more discourse.
If the argument becomes too heated, step away for a while and regain your perspective. Allow your mind to cool down by taking a walk or spending some time alone. Usually, you can approach the conflict with a renewed attitude and becomes rational once you clear your head.
Always Fight or Argue Face to Face In this modern technology world, we can think before we text giving us an opportunity to control our conversation. But not everyone reads texts and tones the same way, and your partner could be taking what you ‘say’ completely out of context, paving the way for more fighting. For example a party could text"shut up" during a conversation, while they could playfully mean they want to end the argument, but because you cannot see the expression behind it, you however take "shut up" as an insult.
When people fight face-to-face body language is clearer and it’s easier to pick up on vocal tone. Also face to face argument is better bacuse at times your partner give noticeable body language signs that they don't want to to argue anymore and solve it there but you definitely can see that through the phone. If an argument is especially complex or intesnse, long, drawn-out text messages are difficult to type out and are best discussed in person.
Create Boundaries for A Fight: Fighting becomes out of hand when you attack the person emotional instead of the problem itself. Swearing, yelling over each other, and avoiding the real problem can all mount and the fight becomes an all-out war.
Sit down with your partner and discuss some boundaries for when you fight. For example, one person should speak first in a respectful tone with no yelling or name calling. These destructive behaviors redirect you from the issue needing attention and create an unsafe space for each other to feel heard and accepted.
Take Care of The Conflict as Soon as Possible: Couples who allow problems to intensify break up sooner than those who approach conflict quickly. Not speaking up and letting our feelings simmer brews unspoken resentment or bitterness which could permeate the relationship. Scientifically the number of hours recommended to hold grudges against your partner is 24hours, if it up to 24hours and no one makes the move to solve the situation it could lead to break up.
This is damaging, especially if the other partner does not know. Coming clean about our feelings or issues and laying it all out on the table forces us to work through those problems so there’s nothing weighing on our minds throughout the course of the relationship.
Stop Fighting and Start Enjoying Each Other: Every couple goes through rough patches but constant fighting in a relationship is tiring and draining. When you stop fighting, you enjoy your relationship – and each other – more. Take these steps to your next argument and learn to solve the conflict in a healthy and productive way. So next time any argument is about to come up just sit her down talk about it and enjoy each other rather than waste the long hours you could have spent in each other's company.
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