The first thing you need to get out of the way is whether he is interested in you as a person. If the guy is treating your like a piece of meat, then you can sure he’s pretty much looking to hook up.
The second thing you should ask yourself is what do you want out of things? Chances are if you’re not serious, it’ll be hard for him to be serious. The situation has a lot to do with that. I’ve known people who were in long-term relationships with people that they were hooking up with at first. But you shouldn’t expect things to develop that way, and be realistic about what you want.
Now, the important part, how do you know if he ONLY wants s*x. That’s both more difficult and easier. It’s more difficult in that someone who is only initially interested in s*x, may end up wanting more, and someone who is initially interested in a relationship may “settle” for just s*x if the person doesn’t fit their expectations for a relationship.
1. First way to test this is fairly straightforward. Talk about yourself, and ask questions about him. Circle back on the previous subject and see if he was paying attention. If he’s forgotten that you have siblings within 30 minutes of you mentioning it, he’s not looking to get to know you. Circle back to things about him, if he’s not willing to share or expand, then he’s not trying for you to get to know HIM. In short, are you actually having a deeper conversation or are you having idle chitchat?
2. Is he looking at others while he’s talking to you? If he likes you, he’ll want to soak up your attention. Checking out other people’s assets pretty much means he’s not that interested.
3. What happens if you don’t have s*x? Does he call you back? Does he get upset or puts you down? If a man is interested, he’ll show interest even if you’re not sleeping together. Don’t set a timeline either, if he’s just interested in s*x, he may be willing to stick around for a few dates to get it.
4. Get a feeling for how he talks about his previous relationships, or get an idea as to what kind of person he is by his friends. If all the guys he hangs out with are not adding anything positive to his life, chances are your guy isn’t that different. If you think that getting to know people in his life or talking about previous relationships is too personal maybe you should think twice before having s*x with that person.
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