There is no doubt that loving and understanding parents long for the good of their children. That is why they control every step the child takes, teaching them and motivating them. However, at first glance, some phrases that may not be harmful at first may affect their children's immaturity. These are words we often say automatically - even when we don't think about it - because most of us hear from our parents.
In the opinion of psychologists, we have explored which words on Brook's side can affect the future principles of our children's lives.
You can be the person you want. ”
It is good to support children in their hobbies and hobbies, but research has shown that children's excesses can also have a negative impact. It is important to let your children know that they need a Plan B if they cannot make their dreams about their future work. Although they work hard to achieve this goal, not every child can become a capable surgeon, astronaut, or soccer star. And it's totally normal.
The role of parents is to teach the child to reach realistic and realistic goals and to warn them that there may be frustrations in life.
Even if you can't do it. ”
When it comes to physical burdens, these guidelines can hurt the baby. This phrase often comes from parents who try to make their unbalanced dreams with the help of their children. Extremely demanding jobs can lead to traumatic stress in your children's future. Teach your child to listen to their body and respond to pain and discomfort on time.
Just like your father / mother. ”
There is nothing wrong with comparing children to one of their relatives in a positive way. But unfortunately, these phrases often have a negative connotation, and not only the infants, but also the parent's behavior. It disturbs children, makes them take sides with their father or mother, and tries to please each other.
"You are the best. No one can compare to you."
Even if they say these phrases in love, parenting has serious consequences for oneself. It can result in children not trying to try something new, fearing that it will not meet their parents' expectations.
"Eat broccoli / spinach / cabbage, it's very healthy."
Researchers from the University of Chicago have found that for children, the word "healthy" is later used as the word "sweet." Because of this, they refuse to eat any healthy food. If you want your child to eat, for example, it is better to say that it is cabbage, sweet and efficient.
"Don't beat your brother."
It is not uncommon for people to be overwhelmed by negative emotions. Children and adults sometimes have difficulty controlling their emotions, but we find ways to control them. That's exactly what we need to teach our children - embrace our emotions and control our reaction to them. The phrases, “Don't beat your brother” or “Don't hurt your sister” often are not enough. He never exclaimed: “Son!
Try to convey to your children that they do not have to control their emotions, but it is wrong to guide their loved ones to do physical harm. Encourage your child to put on a pillow or toy to express their emotions, or use words to express their feelings.
“Do not hurry.”
Don't underestimate your children's problems. Maybe it's just a lost toy, but it may not make sense to them. You may lose their faith when you show contempt for your children. If the problem is very serious they may not come to you for advice or assistance.
“Let me help you.
One of the most important skills we need to develop at a young age is the ability to decide exactly when to get help and when to live independently. For example, many parents put their children's needs first, for example, when helping with homework, a child could do it themselves. Later in life, these people have difficulty starting something new because they fear failure.
"Don't touch it, break it!"
If you keep repeating this phrase, it will make your child feel careless and confident. After hearing this phrase, the child can set and break it because they have set it up for this result. In adult life, this person may be afraid to build a career - they are confident that nothing will happen, and so it is pointless to start. If you are afraid that your child might break down or ruin something important, “Be careful. I am afraid it might collapse. ”
“You're so clever!”
At first glance, this phrase seems like a good way to praise a child. However, they may make them think that it is not necessary to put forth much effort to succeed, because they have the natural ability or the wisdom to do so. It's best to encourage their behavior, not their children's work and their efforts. For example, "they've been working very hard on this project." Or “I believe they will do it because you spend a lot of time and energy on this task.”
“Mom isn't crying. Everything's fine. "
When some parents try to protect their child from anxiety, they can wear a cheerful mask and wear everything to look good if they are full of emotions. However, children often feel overwhelmed and intimidated by false emotions. If you limit negative feelings and look positive, it will not only improve your health but also your relationship with your child. You don't have to tell your child everything that happened, but it's important to show their children that they should not be ashamed of themselves.
“Don't talk to strangers.”
This concept is very complicated to understand when it comes to young children. In addition, they may begin to avoid all strangers, including those trying to help them (firefighters or police). It's better to explain how to care for your child in certain situations than to prevent your child from talking to a stranger. For example, if a suspicious person gives candy or calls the child to his car or home.
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