Aside the feeling of love which two people who are making plans to get married should have for each other, there are features which our would be husband or wife should possess before we reach the final decision of accepting them into our lives for a marital journey. Even though our expectations and desires differ due to the factor of individual differences, there are common characteristics that make every marriage to become successful.
When it comes to choosing someone for marriage, we should not focus on only the physical appearance, material and financial possession of the person whom we wish to spend our lives with. We need to pay more attention to the invisible features that they have because, those are the things that will stand the test of time in our marriages. For instance, time and situations can change people's appearance, financial and material possessions but people's personality makeup can hardly be altered.
Below are some of the features you should look out for in the man/lady you want to be married to;
1. Tolerance. Considering the imperfection nature of humans, the quality of tolerance is very much needed from our spouse, most especially when we are not in our best behaviours. One of the reasons why most married couples have endless misunderstandings in their union is because one or both parties lack the ability to tolerate some of the actions and inactions of their partners. More so, lack of tolerance can make your spouse to give up on you so quickly, thereby making the decision of divorce. If you don't want to stand the chance of being dumped in marriage, marry someone who can tolerate you to some extent.
Perseverance is what gives people the spirit of hope and optimism in marriage, most especially when things are not rosy. Marriage is not a bed of roses. One who lack the attribute of perseverance can leave you when things get tough and ugly in your marriage. Will that person be patient enough to bear and stick by you in marriage, when the chips are down, or he/she is the type of person who cannot endure unpleasant occurrences? At one point or the other in your marriage, you will need that feature from your partner when things are not so good for you.
3. Forgiving spirit.
Forgiving spirit is one rare feature that your partner should possess before you marry them, because you will need it in the future. Since you can't be too careful not to offend or make a mistake, how can you cope with someone who will store and compile all your wrongdoings with the thought of striking you back when you least expected? That can drain you emotionally and render you psychologically crippled in your marriage. Marry someone who will forgive you when you tender an apology without keeping malice with you or get vindictive.
4. Apology spirit.
Apology and forgiveness go hand in hand, but one thing is to realize one's fault and another thing is to own up to them by apologizing. A person who is so prideful with entitlement spirit that find it hard to admit his/her wrongs and apologize can make marriage less enjoyable for you. Imagine someone who always claim to be right even when he/she is wrong, and even expect you to be the one to apologize. You can't have peace of mind living with such fellow in marriage. Humans have been wired in a way that, when they are offended, they unconsciously expect an apology. The absence of apology when at fault can cause those offended pains. Marry someone who does not see, "I am sorry" as a big statement to use where and when necessary.
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