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Dating Romantic

Opinion: How To End An 'On-Again, Off-Again' Relationship

If you’ve been in a relationship with someone who is satisfied living on-again, off-again, it may be time to end things for good. There are many dangers associated with being the object of someone’s affections only when they feel like it. If you have decided to end this cycle and want out then here are some tips that will make your break up easy:

1. Don’t fuel the fire anymore.

If you’re getting mixed signals from him or her, don’t play along. When someone is only interested in you when they feel like it, the best thing for you to do is to stop encouraging them. They will not chase you if you don’t give them any incentive to do so and they will eventually get tired of playing this game with you. If they want to be with you, they’ll have to chase after you.

2. Don’t be the enabling party.

If you’re the one who is making excuses for his or her behaviour, you should end it. This is a huge mistake that people make in these relationships and although they think that they are protecting their partner by keeping them on, it will actually do more harm than good in the long run. People who are genuinely interested in each other will make their own way without needing to be held back by someone else.

3. Don’t keep trying to win them back.

No matter how much you love this person, you need to admit that there is a problem if they keep using your feelings for them when they feel like it. It’s at times like this that we disregard the idea of being alone because we think that we can fix the issues in our relationship and make things better. Unfortunately, this is just not true. The one who’s using you will not change and neither will your feelings for them.

4. Don’t blame yourself.

Give yourself some credit. When someone does something wrong, we tend to blame ourselves for the situation and focus on why they did what they did rather than looking at the bigger picture of why they felt like doing it in the first place. If you have been living with someone who is only interested in you when they feel like it, then stop trying to justify their actions.

5. Don’t be the tail that wags the dog.

If you are someone who gets your feelings hurt easily and don’t realise what is happening in front of you, then this relationship probably won’t work out for you. It’s time to realise that you are being used and feeling guilty for it will not change what is going on. Work on your self-esteem and trust issues before you involve yourself in another relationship like this one.

6. Don’t let them off the hook too easily.

If they text, call or ask to see you, even after breaking up with them, don’t be too quick to respond. Rather, tell them that it is not a good time and that you are busy. If they keep trying to work things out even after breaking up with them, tell them to take care of themselves and end the relationship.

7. Don’t let it linger on!

A person who wants to play games will not stop even if they are in pain; they will always try to get their partner back again as soon as possible. If you have been with this person for more than a year and they still want to get back together, then they are not good for you.

8. Don’t show any pity.

Words like “I’m sorry” will not get them to change their mind and if someone is handling you with disrespect, don’t expect them to care about your feelings. You do not have to show any remorse when breaking up with someone who has been using you. It is better to focus on elevating yourself and putting yourself first for once.

9. Don’t keep reading into their messages.

If you keep checking your phone hoping that they will text or call you, stop it! These types of people know how to play with our emotions and the best thing that you can do is go out and have fun because they’re not worth your time. Even if they send you a heart-felt message or even call you, don’t entertain them and just ignore them. If they want to talk to you, have the confidence that they will reach out to you when they are ready.

10. Don’t expect anything in return.

If you are doing this for the right reasons, don’t expect anything in return. If anything, you will feel better about yourself and that is all that matters.

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