Parents are very excited when they are about to have their first baby. As he grows, his progress becomes extremely important to his parents and the rest of the family. New parents cherish their baby and above all, want him to be happy.
At the same time, the parent’s intense wish for him to succeed can cause a firstborn some problems.
Parents can also establish overly demanding rules for his behavior, as well as micromanage his every move. When he sits at the dinner table, they might frequently correct him, “Sit up straight,” or “That's not the way to hold a fork.” As he goes through life, he can internalize all these demands, feel constant anxiety and become a perfectionist.
Firstborn face intense pressure to succeed, but he must confront the challenge of the birth of a younger sibling. Though he was the prince of the family until now, he is suddenly forced to share his parents’ love and attention.
Talk about his emotions.
As parents you can help your first child overcome these challenges in the following ways:
1. Try to facilitate your child's privacy.
2. Teach your older child to be less bossy towards her sibling. Help him to understand that this behavior is designed to reinforce his number one position in the birth order.
3. Try to be even-handed. It will help your older child feel equally loved and less resentful if you engage the whole family in preparing for dinner and helping with clean-up.
4. Spend time alone with your firstborn. To a child, time equals attention equals love. Spending a day out with him alone reassures him that he is valued.
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