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Healing your relationship: When you say, "I am sorry"

At some time or another, we all do things that hurt others. Showing up late, making an insensitive comment or accidentally damaging something can put a rift in a relationship. An insincere, poorly delivered apology, however, does more harm than good.

When to apologise

The very best time to apologise is as soon as you realize you have done wrong. It can be tempting to try to relieve guilt by letting time pass, making an excuse, blaming others or even lying. However, your impulse to wait or avoid is a strong signal to you that it is time to act honorably. While it's often uncomfortable, or even difficult, it is worth doing.

When not to apologise:

Some people find themselves constantly apologizing, even when they have done nothing wrong. If you find yourself apologizing for things beyond your control (e.g., someone's bad mood, the limits of your own time, your parent's decisions), then it is time to stop. This false apologizing distracts attention from real issues, waters down real apologizes and sends you and others the incorrect message that you are responsible when you are not.

How to apologise

1. Acknowledge that you have done something wrong:

Tell the person you have wronged the extent of the offense. Start by saying what you did, using accurate language. Accept responsibility.

2. Explain what you have done. Don't make excuses.

When you explain why you did what you did, both you and the person you have wronged can have increased confidence that it won't happen again.

3. Express your regret

Apologies have little meaning when they are offered without an expression of sincere remorse. Telling someone you have wronged, " I'm sorry you feel hurt " without remorseful action, leaves the other person even more offended. Say, '' I'm really sorry 😔 for my hurtful actions. I shouldn't have done that and I won't do it again.

4. Make amends

Once you have apologised it is time to make reparations (e.g., start showing up on time, stop making hurtful comments, replace the item you damaged. Ask, '' what else can I do? When an injured party feels listened to and valued, you have gone a long way toward repairing relationship damage.

Once you have apologised

Offering a sincere apology should help you feel better about yourself because you have been brave, honest and committed to making a relationship work. You have also shown a willingness to accept your own imperfections and a desire to do better next time. Forgive yourself and move on. Remember, though, that the person who has been wronged always retains the right to forgive or not.

Thanks 😍

Content created and supplied by: Relationship360 (via Opera News )


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