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Opinion: How Girl Marriage Has Become A Gateway To Escape Poverty

Majority of Nigerian girls get married in a bid to escape poverty. That is why the pressure is always on the man to concede to several demands both traditional and otherwise.

That's why most families train girls for marriage and not for independence. That is why you hear words from mothers like "Do so that you will get a husband and leave my house" or "If you continue with this nonsense, no man will marry you".

Fact is, marriage kills more women in Nigeria than cancer.. From physical to the emotional and whatever you have. I have interacted with so many young people and my advice, especially to the female has always been "get a job or find something doing".

Nigerian parents also play huge roles in keeping the girl-child down. The basic formula for allowing the girl leave her family home is when she is getting married. Those who strive to leave to make earns meet are sometimes seen as wayward.

Ever heard them calling single ladies who live in cities like Abuja, Lagos and Port Harcourt prostitutes? They're only regarded as functional members of the society if they are married.

And to the boy, he is reminded that if he has no money, no one will marry him. He abandons every act of essential living like knowing how to cook or being polite or kind and chase money, and if he gets it, it will be the ultimate show of arrogance.

If he doesn't, he will live a bitter life and endure all forms of mockery. He is termed a broke ass even when the person doing the name calling is broke as well, and sometimes more miserable too.

Ever seen ladies complain that their husbands rarely help them at home even when they are dying from doing house chores?

Some men cannot bring themselves to hold their own crying children. The wife would have to leave whatever she is doing to attend to the crying child. This is because he feels he bought a commodity.

Some ladies also see marriages as a gateway to a lifetime security where self development is not needed. The ring and change of name is all that is required to live happily ever after. That's why you here things like "I can't marry a guy who earns 50k a month"

That is why women tolerate all forms of abuses so as to not lose their marital status, and then children watch their mothers go through that process and internalise them.

The boy will feel like it is cool to trash women because he saw his father do same. The girl will feel it is cool to take whatever a man dishes because she saw her mother do same and the circle of bitterness continues.

In the end, we mess up life. Some women also bully their men in oblivion while the children are watching, especially if they are paying the bills.

But like I have said, a society that devices means of creating more independent women with much attention to self-sustainance will also produce men who do not think they are doing a woman a favour by marrying her.

That society will also produce more female professionals like Okonjo-Iweala, Dora Akunyili and entrepreneurs like Linda Ikeji through a restructured educational and belief system.

That society will not pressure a man into fulfilling irrelevant demands that will make him see her as a commercial object and not a companion.

Content created and supplied by: DanielZagpish (via Opera News )

Nigeria Nigerian


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