Marriage is a more or less a game of love, affection, and mutual respect. It is most often a give and take scenario. What you do decides the results you get.
Marriage is also a an learning process. In fact the more we learn about our spouses every day the more we know how to handle their weaknesses. Anyone that enters the marriage institution without knowing these things, his marriage is bound to hit the rocks.
As a man, you need a lot of virtues to survive in the institution. Patience is one of those virtues. And also self control. And also wisdom. These virtues will aid you in smoothing out any problems that arise in your union. They are especially necessary is a case where your wife no longer regards or respects you. What do you do in such situations as a man?
Below are things you should do if you lose the respect of your spouse. For those who are yet to enter the marital institution, click here to read how to choose the right partner.
13. First Of All, Do Not Get Offended
This advice might sound difficult to follow, but, believe me it is the right course of action to follow in such situations. Why should you avoid getting offended? Simple. Because it will most likely inflame the situation and make it worse. On of the signs of maturity in a man is self-control. We all know how difficult it is as a man to have your pride hurt by anyone, most especially your wife. Here is where you display maturity. Allowing your temperament to get provoked might just lead to more anger, even more disrespect, a war words, or might make you physically abuse your wife. So control your temper, and handle the situation with wisdom.
12. Have A Change Of Mindset
The mindset most men come into a marriage with is that they are the bosses of the house and their will should always prevail. My friend your marriage won't last if you still have that kind of mindset. Learn to give in to your wife's demands. If she is nagging and raising her voice angrily at you, if you still have that "I am the boss" attitude then you will try to defend you ego. Learn to allow your ego to be hurt and peace to reign. This change of mindset will help you execute the first step and all others steps to bring back your estranged wife. More so if you yield to your wife on situations in which two of you disagree or just choose to allow your pride to be hurt for peace to reign, then she is more likely to respect you.
11. Have A Heart-to-heart with Your Wife
Sit with your wife and try to sort things out through effective communication. Try to find out her reason for her rude behavior. Hear her own side of the story. Being a husband doesn't mean always being the boss and the one in control. Sometimes you have to drop your ego and go the humble path. Real men understand this about relationships.
10. The Power Of Love And Affection
When you detect disrespect and insubordination in your wife as a man, then you may want to play the card of love with her. Overlook her disrespectful behaviors and still treat her well. Give her affection. Give her your attention, spend time with her. Make her to know that you still love her and are interested in working out the difficulties battling your relationship. Believe me if you keep repaying her disrespect and rude behaviors with love very soon she will yield and start respecting you again. Talk to her. Commend and compliment every good thing she does. it might take some time to see good results with this tip. So you will have to be patient and also overlook your pride.
9. Put Yourself In A Position That Will Make You Earn Her Respect
Your wife's disrespectful attitude may just simply be because she has little or no reason to respect you. Women always like to submit to men that take control of things and act like men. Here I don't mean overriding her and her opinions. Or displaying anger and offense at her. To earn her respect you have to act like a man, that is perform your duties as a husband. Try to fulfil all your duties as the man of the home. Your wife will disrespect you if you leave your duties as a husband for her to perform. So fulfil your own part of the agreement. That means you have to perform your role as the breadwinner of the house. We all know how difficult it can for the average man be to do so, considering the hard times we are living in. You will have to push yourself to the limits to sustain your family.
8. Lack Of Physical Intimacy
This also can be a cause of insubordinate behavior of wives to their husbands. If you fail to satisfy her desire for physical intimacy, you fail to satisfy her sexual desires, either willfully or as a result of health issues. If you find that the sexual relationship between you and your wife is strained then you have to make adjustments. If it is a health problem, like low sexual performance, then you may need to seek medical help. Sexual satisfaction is one thing women do not joke with in a marriage. If can't give it to them as a man, she will belittle and disrespect you. Click here to find out how to improve your sexual relationship with your wife.
7. Understand Your Wife
Marriage is a learning process and no couple in the institution are perfect. We learn from our behaviours everyday. You have to be acquainted with the kind of person your wife is, what she wants and what she doesn't want. Understand her mood swings, when she is happy/sad/depressed/uncommunicative, so you don't trespass on her personal space. Knowing you wife will help you to know how to live with her so you don't offend her. For example if your wife is someone given to talking and discussion, then automatically you have to learn to be a good listener. Even if she brings up a topic for discussion, and you are not inclined to go with it, please just force yourself to. Consider that your wife is the weaker vessel in the relationship and you have to make sacrifices for her. If your wife finds out you understand her then she will love you dearly.
6. Overlook Her Faults
This is very important. Women are prone to mistakes as they are also human, most times even more than men themselves. If your wife does something wrong, for example you get home from work and dinner or supper is yet to be prepared. Do not blame her and show angry behavior towards her. Just be calm and composed. Help her where necessary. If that mistake repeats multiple times, just call you wife and calmly without anger or offence tell her you don't like what she is doing. Also ask her if there is any problem she is encountering that is making her falter in dispensing her duties. Work it out together as a couple.
5. Love And Respect Are Two Sides Of The Same Coin
According to psychology we are bound to respect and love people that hold us in high regard. That means you should treat your wife with honor and respect. Respect her views. When she is talking listen. Don't demean her. If you treat her like she is important to you, and she means everything to you, believe me she will love you dearly and will equally respect you. Don't make the mistake most African men make in their marriages. They see there wife as "this woman that I married with my money." Yes, you married her with your money, but she is also the love of your life. She is your missing rib. She is your most precious asset. She is your partner is progress. She is your wife, see her as such and treat her as such, and your marriage will be sweet and she won't disrespect you.
4. Before You Take Any Decisions Ask For Her Opinion
At least before you take any major decision ask for her opinion. It will give her a sense of importance, that you value her. It doesn't mean you have to take her advice, and if you don't explain to her why you choose to go along with yours instead. I challenge you as a man to start doing this to your wife and watch how her love for you will spike.
3. Seek Professional Advice
You can choose to take this course as somewhat of a last resort. Go to a marriage counselor and get some advice. That may help save your marriage. Visit a marriage counselor and work out your issue. Click here to learn how to choose the right marriage counselor.
2. The Language You Use In Addressing Your Wife Is Very important
Always use the language of love and affection to address your wife. Call her affectionate names, like "my sweetest love", "my honey", " my joy", " the light of my life". I am a psychologist and I will tell you that a woman can hardly ever resist verbally expressed affection. If your wife disrespects still you use affectionate language to address her, but when doing so be sincere, mean it. You will notice that if your wife is offended and you combine affectionate language with your apologies, if she was resisting your physical touch, that is not allowing you to touch her, immediately you use those words her defensive barrier will fade. She will stop resisting your touch. But if she ever detects that those words are insincere it may even anger her the more.
1. If You Are The Religious Type, Then This Option Is For You
As a Christian or a professor of any religion, you can talk to the deity you believe in to lend you supernatural help to help you bring your wife to order. Christians will pray to God, and may also seek counsel from spiritual leaders. That can also greatly help. If you are a Christian you can click here to find out how to pray a prayer that God will answer.
Content created and supplied by: Vickimbaba (via Opera News )