Having sex is a big deal. It changes a relationship and it changes you. It’s something you need to think about and plan for before you’re in the moment. If it comes up, how will you respond? Are you ready, or should you wait? Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to have sex. And if you’ve had s*x, it doesn’t mean you have to again. What if you go intimate with him and he stopped picking you calls or stop calling your number? Would you like that or would you be able to handle that? Read on to know more.
1. Are you going to regret this later?
Those voices in your head, listen to them. If you’re uncomfortable, scared, or think you might feel guilty afterwards it’s okay to say no. S*x is meant to be a beautiful thing, not something you regret having too soon or in ways you aren’t comfortable with. You should be the one making the decisions and those decisions need to be ones you can live with, regret free.
2. Does this line up with who I am and what I value?
Everyone has values that help them make decisions and that shape who they are and who they want to be as a person. In life we are confronted with decisions daily that force us to choose between those things we value and the alternatives. To stay true to who we are as a person, you must stay true to your values. If you value honesty, you’re going to be faced with the decision of being honest or telling a lie. If you value waiting to have s*x until you’re married, you will be faced with that decision. In the end, being true to you, to your values will help you avoid those feelings of regret.
3. What are my expectations?
Before you sleep with him, it's important to ask yourself what you want in both the sexual encounter and the relationship. Strong emotions often come when your expectations are violated, like when you unexpectedly win an award and are ecstatic, or dramatically saddened by an abrupt death, says Prause. Because you tend to romanticize s*x before it happens, your expectations are high. That can be problematic if you're not prepared to deal with the fallout.
4. Am I okay never seeing him again?
Sometimes it's difficult to be honest with yourself about whether you can handle a casual relationship, soIf your answer is yes, then go for it, But if it's no, you may want to wait until it is yes, or until you're both ready for a more serious relationship."
5. How save do you feel with him?
How safe you feel with them. Before you have s*x with someone, you must feel safe, both practically and intuitively. Take common-sense safety measures (especially if you’re meeting someone for the first time): Meet your potential partner in public so that you can get a sense of who they are; Let a friend know where you are and when you should be back; Have a clear plan of how you are going to get home.
6. Their relationship status
Is your partner single, in a monogamous relationship, an open relationship, married, or something in between? Find out. It’s totally up to you how you want to proceed, but you should at least have all of the info up front.
7. Have you been dating long enough to see their faults and still like them?
It will take time to really get to know someone new, but you want to give it time to see them as a whole person, not just their perfect potential.
8. Have you talked about what having s*x means to the relationship?
The general rule is that if you cannot talk about sex, you should not be having sex. Make sure you talk about your expectations. It is important to discuss this and come to an agreement before moving forward.
9. Are you emotionally ready?
Do you feel ready to move the relationship forward to the next level? By moving a little slower, you know where you stand in the relationship and are taking that next step into intimacy together knowing what that means to the relationship.
Content created and supplied by: RelationshipTalks05 (via Opera News )