When a man is searching for his future bride, he is frequently pushed in three directions: what he thinks he wants, what his family thinks is ideal, and what is genuinely best for him (speaking Islamically, of course).
Hopefully, he can undertake some research and planning to align these streams.
Though emotions and hormones can readily divert our attention, marriage is ultimately a commercial agreement.
Before meeting any potential spouse, make a checklist of important points and refer to it frequently when your vision becomes foggy.
1 Religious Commitment:
Muslim men commonly believe that marrying a decent, devout woman will help them become better Muslims. Maybe, but in reality, only you can make yourself a better person, and you aren't even marriable if you aren't praying.
Are you on the same degree of religiosity, even if you don't wear hijab or abaya? Do you and your partner pray together? Do you and your partner both read the Qur'an? Is she happy to be a member of the Muslim community? Check to see if your existing religious commitments allow you and your partner to grow together.
2 Good Character:
Muslims place a high value on a woman's character because, as we all know, she is the backbone of the ummah, and as the primary caregiver for her children, she will pass on her character characteristics to them. It's critical to start a family with a woman of good morals.
It's also crucial that you respect her individuality because you'll be working together on this project. Examine how she interacts with various types of individuals; is she consistently empathetic and kind? Is she sincere, or does her body language indicate otherwise? Pay attention to your gut instincts and don't dismiss warning signs.
3. Shared Values:
Consider your life goals and how you plan to accomplish them. Do you intend to spend a lot of time with your children or do you prioritize accumulating wealth? Consider how your partner can assist you in attaining your objectives.
When meeting with potential partners, inquire about their life objectives and lifestyle requirements. Will she desire to travel, entertain guests frequently, or do neither? Will she want to work all the time? Will you be able to assist her in achieving her objectives? Let's get to know one another.
For most brothers, this must be a difficult situation. It is critical to be realistic. Recognize that, first and foremost, you are not entitled to perfection, and that attraction is not solely dependent on physical attractiveness - you must like your wife as well as find her physically appealing.
In addition to a checklist to keep you on track, have an accountability buddy - a family member or trusted confidant who knows you well and can serve as a sounding board to reflect you when you are being realistic Versus and rash.
1. Fiqh Usrah
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