It is good to have hope even in the most demanding conditions. When you are going through a difficult time in your relationship, hope can be like a ray of sunshine sinking through dark and stormy clouds. But it is important to distinguish between a rough place and a relationship that does not come from darkness. During such times, we do our best to understand our partner and continue the relationship. While we do not understand what we are actually doing, it forces us to love someone who does not want to fall in love. Sometimes it is good to relax. Here are 10 signs that you are forcing love where there is none.
1. You have to work hard to convince
Having excellent persuasion skills does not hurt. I even encourage it. Likewise, having a reward-based system is also great if that's what works for you. "You make the dishes," you tell him, "I will treat you beyond your imagination in the bedroom." But if you constantly have to make an effort to persuade someone to do something that would not require such an effort, then something is wrong. Should we complain about getting someone’s approval, threatening someone to make them agree and getting used to the rejection are all indications of a forced relationship.
2. You make all the compromises
You generally do what he / she likes, you go out when he / she likes you, you even make your career around his / her needs. You are used to hearing 'no' to most things, you are tired of even thinking about what you want to do. Sacrificing your happiness has become the norm in your relationship. You even stop going out with your friends because he / she does not approve. Maybe he / she is jealous, maybe insecure, but slowly you will have to give up on your fate little by little and compromise on everything that is important to you to maintain your relationship.
Every time you do something your partner does not approve of, there is a drama. Even the most trivial things can happen, such as meeting an old friend. But your partner can build it into a crisis and build a story about it, that at the end of the whole argument, you think he / she has built a brick wall around you that you find almost impenetrable. And if you make decisions in the future, whether or not about your relationship, you will feel absurdly anxious.
4. You make all the plans ... alone
It is not uncommon to be so busy with work that you do not find time to plan. But if your partner rarely, if ever, makes plans with you, whether he is choosing a date for your next date, or making reservations, this is not a sign of a healthy relationship. Planning is just down on your shoulder ... every time. And if you do them yourself, he / she often accepts, and other times he / she simply refuses, and you know deeply that you do not feel good about it.
5. Your heart is constantly broken
Surrendering oneself to someone is said to be easier said than done. Many of us tend to hold back a little. But when you finally give everything in a relationship, your expectations usually rise at the same time. After all, you are human. And when that belief comes to light and your value is not taken into account, it is when you know you are simply forcing yourself to pull the relationship forward.
6. You have to adapt
Reconciling yourself to your partner's standards is a recipe for a relationship that has no purpose. It is better to lose someone you want to change for him than to force yourself to love someone while slowly losing pieces of yourself to him / her. Trying to be someone you are not to please another person would end up leaving you with identity issues, a lot of regrets and an excessive amount on the therapist account. *
7. You are obsessed with the past
In a relationship where he / she does not love you, and you force yourself to love him / her, it is not uncommon for you to accumulate fur. More than likely, the topic of your ruminants and obsessions is over. If your relationship was better and he / she gave a stronger impression of love, it seemed easier. But you can not live in the past.
8. You need to constantly ask how he / she feels
I remember with extraordinary precision the pain of never knowing how I felt. He almost stopped talking, and it was up to me to break the ice more and more. When you have to work so hard to get someone to open up, and your relationship becomes a burden for both of you or for you, then it’s better to let go.
9. You don't talk about the future
You never discuss your plans for the future. It is almost a taboo subject. Of course you think about it, but he / she never talks about "us" and "us". It is always what he / she wants from their life. You never seem to be part of the equation.
10. Conflicts are avoided
Confrontations are treated as a disease. Something that needs to be addressed and never faced with the head. If someone repeatedly treats the relationship that way, he / she doesn't have the depth of feelings for you about what you want to do, and staying in such a stagnant relationship wouldn't bring happiness in the long run.
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