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How to get over insecurities in a relationship

A lot of people have been through series of relationship heartbreak, this make them lose trust in relationships and when they get into a relationship they end up breaking it due to their large mistrust in the opposite sex based on their experience.

-Stop ruling yourself out: Your thoughts could be your relationship’s best friend or worst enemy. The quality of your thoughts has a direct effect on the quality of your relationship.

Have you ever found thinking negative thoughts like, “I know they’ll get sick of me someday, they always do” or, “This is way too good to last” These thoughts have little to do with reality but a lot to do with fear. In other words, the problem you are concerned with doesn’t exist—you invented it!. Any time you find yourself feeling insecure about your relationship, tell yourself, “The thing I’m worried about only exists in my head. I have full control.”

-Let go of the negative relationship experience of the past: Past experiences can mess up your love life. Remembering how a shady ex made you feel undesired and unappreciated can transfer over to your new relationship and make your insecurities snowball out of control. The only way you can move on is by letting go of your negative experiences. Sometimes it’s just feels good to let it all out.

Talk to a therapist, friends, family, or your current partner about your past experiences. Talking openly about hurtful situations you’ve been in during past relationships can help your current partner understand you better. And let’s face it, sometimes it’s just cathartic to let it all out.

-Stop feeling paranoid over nothing: Let’s face it: we all talk to people of the opposite sex. Just because a boy and girl (or boy and boy, or girl and girl) are friends doesn’t mean there is more to the story. Avoid the temptation to snoop your partner’s phone, Facebook messages, or email account. While this could temporarily calm your nerves when you see nothing afoul, it is also a behavior that could quickly become addictive, not to mention damaging for relationship.

-Stop overthinking: If your partner says they want to hang out just with their friends one night and without you, don't take this as a personal slight. Not everything your partner does is meant to hurt you in some way. Just like them falling asleep before you have the chance to have sex doesn't mean they're cheating or uninterested – it probably means they're tired. For your sanity, take your partner at their word. Not everything action has a menacing thought behind it.

-Find your strengths and develop them: Instead of focusing on the bad and the negative, find something in you that you can develop and draw strength from. For instance, you can try to figure out what makes you happy as a person, as a partner to your significant other, or as a friend to your circle.

Realize the good things about you through these people who genuinely care about you. They are your permanent source of strength. Keep them close.

-Trust yourself and your partner: It will come as a shock to no one when I say that trust is the key to happy, healthy relationships. Trust not only means sharing your deepest secrets with your partner without worrying that they're going to blab them to anyone who will listen, but it also brings you comfort in knowing that they mean what they say... that they're not going to betray or hurt you.

Both partners can practice trust by living up to their word, being emotionally and physically present in the relationship, and by being accountable to each other. It's also important to trust your own instincts. If your partner has never given you a reason to distrust them, then don’t. 

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Content created and supplied by: Femiisamson (via Opera News )

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