Most of us have a long list of attributes a perfect partner should have but the truth is we can’t find everything we want in one person. You have to make some compromises when choosing a partner but there are qualities you should never compromise on if you want a successful relationship. Here are 10 important qualities you should prioritise if you want a successful relationship.
1. The relationship itself.
The biggest priority you should have in your relationship may well be the relationship itself. When life gets in the way, a lot of time may pass before you two really pay attention to each other. You’ll notice it’s visibly not as strong as it used to be, but sometimes people brush it under the rug, hoping the problems will disappear. If you don’t fix your relationship when you see problematic signs, it will most definitely get worse. Couples tend to take each other for granted and the relationship as well, once they’ve reached a certain level of comfort and trust. The only way out of this is to check in with your partner, work on the issues you see rather than avoiding them. Don’t wait for the elephant in the room to ruin your relationship, get rid of it the minute you see it.
A lack of respect is not necessarily shown through physical or verbal abuse, it can be as subtle as cutting you off every time you try to put your point across. Having your opinion deemed useless before you’ve even completed your sentence would discourage anyone. A lack of mutual respect in a relationship basically means the relationship will never take off. Out of the list of priorities in a relationship, this one is a necessity. Respect cannot be bargained on, it has to exist. A submissive relationship that constantly features a power struggle isn’t really a loving relationship, it feels more like a political debate.
3. Spend quality time together.
The key is to be intentional about spending time together. Focus on having a little bit of time each day, just you two. If your life is nuts with kids’ schedules, work, and activities, you may need to add this time to your schedule. Even if it’s just a few minutes before bed, make it happen. If you can schedule date nights, even better. Whatever form it takes, just do it
You are more likely to have a successful relationship if you choose a partner who is reliable. A partner who isn’t reliable will fail to fulfill their obligations and honour their promises. A reliable partner is more dependable and trustworthy.
5. Understand each other’s “love language” and try to speak it.
The premise is that everyone experiences love differently, through one of five “love languages.” And once you and your partner understand how each other experiences love, you’ll be able to communicate more effectively in ways that you each fully understand.
6. Say “I love you” every day.
This is pretty self-explanatory. And let me remind you: You are not roommates. You are life partners. Lovers. Parents. And you have a passion for each other even if you haven’t accessed it in a while. Saying “I love you” is just a small daily reminder to each other that while you are teammates, you are also so much more. You’re each other’s person and you’re in it together unconditionally
7. Emotional stability
You are more likely to have a successful relationship if your partner is emotionally stable. A partner who isn’t stable emotionally tends to be moody, anxious and quick to anger. A partner who isn’t stable emotionally tends to be more jealous and less forgiving.
8. You have total trust in each other.
Healthy relationships require trust. You have to be willing to trust your partner not only with your feelings but with your weaknesses. You will have to learn trust at the emotional, physical, and spiritual level. Trust takes practice and is earned one step at a time. Even when trust is broken, you can find a way to repair a breach in trust if you're willing to work on it.
9. You both prioritize kindness.
Do all the things for your partner that you would do for your best friend. Try to anticipate their needs. Think about what they need help with and try to be there for them. Cut out the behavior that gets on their nerves, and find ways to uplift your partner. Thoughtfulness, consideration, and kindness is the recipe for healthy relationships.
10. You're both totally committed.
You have to be committed to your partner, yes. But more than commitment to your partner, you have to be committed to the relationship. If you think about the health and future of the relationship instead of just your own, you're likely to take more constructive actions and behave differently. It's not just about getting your needs met. It's about replenishing the fire so your relationship can last. That's what a healthy relationship is all about.
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