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Dating Romantic

9 Steps To Finding Love Again After A Heartbreak

Being heartbroken is one of the hardest things we will go through in life. It can take months or even years to grieve a failed relationship. Getting back out there can be difficult; sometimes we harbor pain from the past and it stops us from creating a new future. The only way to completely move on is to let love back into your life again (when you’re ready).Here are five steps to being open to love again

1. Reflect on what you do and don’t want In A partner

With enough time and distance from your last relationship, you can look back and objectively evaluate what did and didn’t work for you — which you can learn from and use to help you find a partner who’s really right for you. Take time to reflect on the attributes your ex had that worked for you and that didn’t,” . Write these down in two lists (positive characteristics and negative characteristics). Repeat this exercise for all your exes. Then write a list of your core values. From here, you can define on paper the type of person you should really be looking for. This will bring you a sense of empowerment and focus and will steer you towards a healthy, lasting relationship.

2. Allow yourself to be vulnerable again.

It can be difficult to open yourself up again when you know that the outcome can be devastating. But by breaking down your walls you are given the opportunity of meeting someone who will either take that vulnerability and hurt you again or love and honor you. You are so much stronger after the last heartbreak that you deserve to give yourself the chance of meeting the person who wouldn’t dream of hurting you.

3. Don’t compare dates to your Ex

When you’re dating after a breakup, it can be tempting to compare every person you go out with to your ex but that’s actually an unhealthy habit that you should try to break ASAP. The biggest hurdle I’ve seen people face when dating after a breakup is not comparing the people they’re seeing to their ex.

4. Be honest about your concerns.

When you feel comfortable, it is important to be open about what has hurt you in the past. By expressing your concerns and what you need in a relationship, a new significant other is given the chance to do right by you and check-in and make sure you’re feeling okay. Hiding your past will not enable a new partner to see the reason behind your vulnerabilities.

5. Leave any resentment behind.

Not all men are the same. Just because you have been hurt before, maybe multiple times, it’s not fair to expect a new partner to do the same. You could end up pushing someone away if you act bitter towards them and expect them to hurt you early on. Try to have a positive outlook when entering new territory.

6. Believe that you have more than one soul mate.

Because there’s no such thing as having only one soul mate on this planet. If you’ve already found one, good for you. But guess what? There are more out there. How do I know that for sure? I don’t. But if you want to go on staying stuck in your breakup and feeling sad about losing your soul mate, I can guarantee you won’t find a new person who brings out the light inside of you, who makes you feel special, wanted, and supported. Believing you have only one soul mate is nothing more than a limiting belief and limiting beliefs are meant to be overcome.

7. Don’t date people just because they’re the exact opposite of your ex.

When you go through a devastating breakup you convince yourself that you’ll never date someone like your ex ever again. “That’s it!” you scream, “I’m going for someone totally different than my ex. Your ex hated spontaneity and adventure? You’re going after a rock-climbing, world-traveling, adrenaline-seeker. Your ex didn’t like reading, cats, Star Wars, trying new restaurants, the opera, camping, people-watching, or road trips? You get the idea. Instead of thinking about what you really, truly want in a relationship, you jump in blindly. Dating someone just because they’re not like your ex probably won’t end well.

8. Get clear on your values.

Our values are the guiding lights in our lives. If you’re not clear on what you value, how can you find someone who shares your values? Because if you’re dating people who don’t share the same values as you, it’ll never work. Think about your past relationships. Remember those times when you first started dating someone and you discovered something that didn’t jive with your values? And remember how you brushed it to the side and said, “It’s probably not that big of a deal. Maybe I’ll change….or maybe they’ll change.

9. Seek the beauty in others around you

Pay compliments to others often, notice their positive attributes and admire qualities that you find wonderful. Putting yourself in the headspace to be able to appreciate positive qualities in others can be a wonderful springboard to seeing these attributes in yourself, as well. It’s simple, but it works

Photo Credit Google

Content created and supplied by: RelationshipExpert10 (via Opera News )

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