Work breakups are painful because seeing him every day makes it more difficult to forget and move on. Seeing your ex-boyfriend at work every day also reopens old wounds and stirs up painful thoughts and emotions. How do you get over an ex you work with?
1. Choose what thoughts you focus on
Time to get out of the “touchy feely” zone, and tap into the smart rational part of your self. Learning how to get over an ex after a work breakup will require your brains, not just your spirit, heart and soul. You need to use your head. You need to leave your heart and soul at home or in the bathroom at work and use your brains when you’re interacting with your ex-boyfriend at work. Later, you can cry. At work, you be strong and level-headed.
2. Accept the end of the relationship
You still have feelings, but he doesn’t share them. It hurts. But it’s something you have to accept. If you cling to even a little bit of hope that he will change his mind, you won’t be able to move on. The sooner that you allow the reality of the breakup to sink in, the faster you will be able to heal and get past it.
3. Devalue your ex
One problem that exists when someone we love breaks up with us is that we pop them on a pedestal. We let our feelings blind us and before we know it, we can’t get them out of our mind. Add seeing him every day to the equation and it’s enough to drive anybody crazy. It’s time to devalue your ex.
4. Change you
Getting over an ex is the perfect time to give yourself a little makeover – inside and out – and help you feel better about yourself. We tend to hit rock bottom after we have been dumped, with little self-worth remaining. It’s time to build yourself up again.
5. Find the Friendship Again
Chances are, you started as friends before you got together. If you can, it’s worth it to both your wellbeing and your career to unearth your initial, platonic attraction. Saying hey in the break room or not glaring at him during an all-employee gathering will go a long way toward getting you back on track.
6. Seek support from others.
Even if you and your ex still talk occasionally, make sure that your ex is not the person you call in extreme moments. Since your ex is so nearby, you might be tempted to call him or her to vent about an especially bad day or to share an exciting new achievement or opportunity. But, these are moments to share with someone who you want a deeper relationship with instead.
7. Lay down terms of engagement.
Take the first chance you have to honestly address the situation at your workplace and the role the past relationship plays in it. Initiate the conversation away from curious co-workers, and preferably outside of the workplace entirely. Let your ex know that you intend to keep drama from the past outside of work. Be sure to put your best foot forward, and mention that having a cordial working relationship is important for both your jobs and your happiness.
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