16 Qualities Men Look For in A Woman Before Getting Into Marriage
We all know that there are no perfect human beings, we all have imperfections and we are all in pursuit of happiness. In the pursuit, we have family, friends hobbies and we form relationships. When you are searching for the person who will join you in building a lifelong marriage, what really matters is character.
I am often asked, “What should a single person look for in a potential spouse?” Singles want to know, and parents want to know so they can pass the information on to their children. Sometimes we have a superficial list of things we are looking for when we’re looking at a prospective spouse. It may involve her physical appearance, or it may involve his financial statement, or it may involve similar interests. These are not unimportant, but they’re not really the critical issues, are they?
What really matters is character. Why? Because life is full of choices; marriage is full of choices. These choices are ultimately a reflection of our character and what we’re basing our life on. I'm Joseph Uchechukwu, please ensure to click on the follow button to get more article on parental advice and relationship advice.
In life, you are at liberty to choose the kind of life that completes you. And when it comes to settling down, the same case applies. Men look for particular characters when they are looking for a woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with. These are some of the characters men look at:
1. Independent thinker
A woman who is opinionated and is able to make decisions on her own is attractive. It is even more attractive if she stands for what she believes in. Holding a mature and constructive conversation with such a woman becomes easy.
2. She is real
A real woman will not always agree with what you say and will not always find anything you say funny of hilarious. She is not pretentious at all.
3. She is focused and a dreamer
What is better than finding a life partner who is a dreamer and has goals to achieve? The determination and self drive of a woman is something that men are attracted to.
4. She enjoys her time alone
Spending time together as a couple is crucial in a relationship, but spending time apart is equally paramount. Time alone allows for personal growth which again leads to a healthy relationship. A woman who knows that time alone is important is easy to love and reason out with.
5. She is not with you because of money
A man who is dating a woman who is not a gold digger will always appreciate it. A woman who is with him just because she loves him and enjoys his company, doesn’t matter what he has. These are women goals for them.
6. She's family and/or friend oriented
Before I get heat from people who say that not everyone is close to their family and friend doesn’t make them a bad person or whatever that goes without saying. Let’s keep in mind that I speak from my own perspective and to me, a woman who values both her and my family is important when considering a long term future. Of course, no one should be penalized for coming from an abusive family. But the ability to make strong, healthy connections with others is critical.
7. She's kindhearted
I’m not quite sure how to explain this one. I feel like just the word ‘kindhearted’ in itself gets the point across. A woman who is thoughtful. Loving. Caring. Who does small things for you for no other reason that she loves you (as you do for her). A woman who, when she smiles at you, gives you no choice but to smile back. A woman who radiates warmth from her heart. That is a woman a man would want to marry.
8. She's intellectually challenging
There is no denying that someone’s looks are what initially draws us to them. It’s difficult to spot a great personality from across the room. Many a fling was built on physical attraction alone, but how long can it last?
When conversations lack depth or intrigue, we often fill our time with physical activity together, but it is impossible to build a real connection or lasting relationship with someone on that alone. Being intellectually challenging and having the ability to hold real discussions about meaningful topics, will always trump shallow beauty in the long run.
9. She's understanding and empathetic
Being compassionate, supportive, and encouraging towards your partner is a huge part of building a successful relationship. Nobody wants a person who is a “Debbie Downer” all the time and will not support them in their endeavors or their times of need. Life is full of challenges that any couple will face together, particularly a married couple. Sometimes men need a shoulder to cry on, too.
10. She's ambitious
In addition to supporting and encouraging you pursuing your own goals and dreams, she will have her own as well. A mature woman has a vision for her future and chases after it with voracity. It doesn’t have to be a career, just something your partner is passionate about.
A mature woman will be someone you can take on the world with. A teammate in your relationship and in life.
11. She's consistent
Being consistent is a valuable virtue because it lets your partner know that you really are who you are. You haven’t sent your “representative” to get to know them during the first couple of months of dating, but then suddenly transform once they’ve committed themselves to you.
To clarify the point, think of consistency as the opposite of volatility. If someone is unpredictable and volatile, it’s difficult to know how they will be acting towards you on a certain day, and that gets old no matter how aesthetically pleasing she is.
12. She's willing to put I'm effort for you
I am all about giving in relationships. I believe seeing your significant other happy should also make you happy but it is important to understand that it goes both ways. Her putting in effort doesn’t have to be much. It can be something as simple as slipping the waiter her debit card to pay for dinner. It’s no secret that sometimes the romance wears off of longer term relationships, but you shouldn’t let it and neither should she.
If a woman continues to do what she knows attracted you in the first place, even after she got you a long time ago, it shows she cares about keeping you around. Equally as important is to make sure both teammates always show the other their appreciation for this effort. Feeling taken for granted can easily lead to resentment and other negative results in a relationship.
13. She holds similar values as you
This is often an extension of the family oriented point in the beginning, because many times our value system comes from our upbringing. The things we find important (or not), the things we believe in strongly (or not), the way we treat others, and ourselves. It doesn’t matter how attracted you are to someone or even how well you get along, if your values don’t align, you will always be clashing in the long term.
14. She's friendly and sociable
I know, at least for me, I enjoy being social and I love having my girlfriend by my side. So, naturally, we will find ourselves together out at events or even just bumping into people at a restaurant or bar. No man wants to be worried about the attitude his girlfriend or wife is going to give to the friend he is trying to introduce her to. He doesn’t want her to turn up her nose or be short with them it is important that as his teammate in life, she is his teammate in all areas of life.
Of course, needless to say, he should possess the same qualities and extend the same courtesy to her friends, family, coworkers, and anyone else in her life he gets introduced to.
15. She has a sense of humor
We know how important it is to women for the man in their life to have a generally good sense of humor, but I’d argue it’s equally as important in the other direction as well. Particularly if a man has a great sense of humor, it will be lost on a woman who is too dry or stiff. Furthermore, it could cause tension if he is often funny and joking, and she is always serious and becomes annoyed with his lighter personality.
It is important for a couple to be able to be playful and joke around with each other. It helps lighten the mood, makes extended periods of time together more fun, and laughing together never gets old.
16. She's loving and affectionate
This is more of a bonus point. It may not need to be said, because a few of the points above just direct back to someone being loving in general, anyway. But, I think it’s important to state just the same.
For me, affection is important. Holding hands, hugs, just being physically close together. It symbolizes a connection. It’s a warm, loving feeling, and I would have a hard time building a long term relationship with a woman who shrugs off your arm when you put it around her or always feels ‘separate’ from me.
A woman should seek a man who:
1. Fears God. Some of the ways you can tell if a young man fears God are by other people. Does he treat them with respect? If not, why? We as human beings are made in the image of God, and respecting people ultimately shows a heart that reverences the One whom we reflect.
2. Is not afraid to loving: but a lot of young men today are afraid of commitment, and the young lady ends up chasing the young man. What we need today are more young men who are not afraid of being real, authentic, and committed to a young lady in a relationship. We need men who are not afraid to love.
3. Can admit his faults, his mistakes, and when he’s hurt you. A good marriage is the union of two for giver's. The reason is because you’re going to hurt one another over and over again during your lifetime together. If you don’t know how to ask for and extend forgiveness, you’re never going to have a great marriage. The growth of your relationship will be stunted from the start.
4. Can control his passions. We live in an age that has been invaded by sex. The world sends a message that you are entitled to have it all and satisfy yourself. A young man should be fully in charge of his passion and be able to control his desire for the opposite sex in his thought life, his private life (no viewing pornography), and in his real world relationships.
5. Honors his parents. In the Ten Commandments, God tells us to honor our parents that our lives may be long and it may be well with us. Wouldn’t you want to select a man whose life has a sense of well being in God’s favor? I have heard it said that if you want to see how a young man will treat you, see how he treats his mother. I’d take that a step further how does he honor both his mother and his father? Does he speak well of them or is he angry with them? Does he refuse to speak about them at all? What’s going on between a young man and his parents is very important.
6. Is in the process of becoming a leader who knows how to serve. Being the head of a home and having so much authority and responsibility demands self denial and a servant spirit. If a young man doesn’t know how to deny himself on behalf of another person, giving up his personal rights, goals, and dreams, I would question whether he would know how to lead a family well over a lifetime.
A man should seek a woman who:
1. Fears God and whose hope is in God. Her life is going to be a reflection of where her hope is. If a young lady’s hope is in any place other than the Lord, the young man who marries her is going to spend the rest of his life trying to help his wife find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It isn’t going to happen.
2. Honors her parents. If she has a hard time honoring her parents, she will have a hard time honoring you. Find someone who has or is working to have a healthy relationship with her parents.
3. Knows how to admit she’s wrong, ask for forgiveness, grant forgiveness, and give grace when you fail her. This isn’t just a one way street. Both of you are going to need to do this.
4. Wants to be a wife and a mother. There are some young ladies who want to get married, but don’t really want to be a wife and a mother. They may want the security or companionship offered in a marriage, but they want their career to be their number one pursuit. I believe the Scriptures teach that a wife’s number one pursuit should be ministering to her husband and family. That means if you choose to have children, your priorities and values have already been determined.
5. Displays character through modesty. One way a woman’s character is displayed is how she handles the power of her femininity and sexuality. In other words how modest is she? That’s becoming a strange word in our culture, but I would challenge young men to keep their eyes out for young women whose character is displayed not only on the inside, but the outside as well.
6. Knows how to follow a man. That doesn’t mean falling unquestioningly in line with anything and everything her husband says. Women are joint heirs of the grace of God, but someone has to make the final decision when you disagree. When one person votes one way, and the other person votes another, I believe it’s the responsibility of the husband to listen carefully and wisely consider the counsel of his wife. But then it’s on him to submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and be led by the power of the Holy Spirit to make that decision. At that point, it’s the wife’s responsibility to be able to follow him.
Keep it simple, For many single people, the older they get the longer their list grows. Some folks could wallpaper an entire house with their checklist. It’s a good idea to think through what is important in the opposite sex to you personally. But you can’t develop a checklist of a thousand things that no person this side of heaven could ever fulfill.
It is really simpler than that. Character issues like these should be at the top of your list when you’re looking for someone with whom you can spend a lifetime. The qualities she is looking for are the ones you have.
Needless to say, every man likely has a different ‘checklist’ for what he is looking for in the woman that he would consider potentially. But don’t forget, for a partnership to work, both people have to see value in the other person. It’s not all about your wants
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