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Opinion: How to approach a Lady

Many people-watch every day, hoping for some kind of interaction. Perhaps you stay in your comfort zone more often than not, and over time this hinders your ability to approach people. Your hopes of talking to that girl across the coffee shop waft away like steam, and that's no way to enjoy an outing. If you decide it's time for a fun change, then, approaching ladies in all situations can guarantee a new sense of comfort.

Boosting Confidence

Overcome your fear. Fear is your biggest hindrance. It makes the easiest tasks and simplest actions seem impossible. Talking to a lady can be easy, and your fear is tricking you into believing a worst-case scenario that is unlikely. Most women will be flattered by your approach, so taking action can work in your favor. The chances of getting slapped, scolded, ridiculed by her friends, or any other scenario are extremely rare.

Calm your nerves. When you get in your own head, you avoid being outgoing and linger on being nervous. Focusing on something such as telling yourself "don't be nervous" would only make you feel worse. Instead, learn to recognize the physical symptoms of being nervous; then, you'll be able to gain control over them. When your heart races and your breath become short, stop and control your breathing pattern. To relax, breathe in for about 3 to 4 seconds and release the breath for the same amount of time. Doing this for a few minutes will ease your body from anxious nerves.

Remain in a positive state of mind. Being positive and confident are not innate; they can be learned.[3] Focus on the better outcomes. You shouldn't try things to fail—you choose them for success. Imagine the worthwhile outcomes when you talk to a woman at the mall or in line at the bistro counter. You are only a few words away from a phone number, a date, or a story to tell.

Create strong body language. If you are communicating with someone, non-verbal cues will send the first message. When you speak to a lady for the first time, send a signal of intrigue before saying a word. Make some changes in your body language that say you are open, inviting, and confident.

Use a strong posture. Keeping your shoulders back and chest out demonstrates a confident stance.

Smile. People who have a good time smile, and the more you smile, the more you'll feel better about every situation.

Make eye contact. Meeting eyes with whomever you speak with projects confidence.

Leave your hands out of your pockets. No need to constantly check your cell phone; that will only create more nervous feeling


Stay well put together. Looking good means feeling good, so don't ignore taking care of yourself. Keep up with practical grooming habits such as regular haircuts, facial hair trimming, and cleaning up before heading out. Moreover, maintain a nice wardrobe, which could mean occasionally buying some new articles of clothing. When it comes to meeting someone new, attraction is key.

Making an Approach

Establish eye contact. If you are in close enough proximity, don't assume a lady has taken notice of you. Instead, keep in mind that surprising a lady is not the best way to first approach her. If she looks your way and your eyes connect, return with a smile, a friendly signal that will work well in your favour 

Listen to her body language. Even though you may be observant, men commonly miss important cues from ladies. You want to approach a lady who wants to be approached. If her interest is in her friends or her cell phone, then, rejection is imminent. Look for the ones who are standing with open postures and glancing around the area.

Make small talk. Start off with saying "Hi," "Hello," or "Hey." All these options are great openers and usually invite a direct response with some intrigue.

Keep in mind, if you approach a lady in a group situation, you are interrupting them with a simple "hey," so have a follow up ready once you insert yourself.

Use your environment. A good conversation can start from what is right around you. If you are trying to approach a lady in a coffee shop, ask her what she's drinking or what she would recommend. If you approach a lady at a club, ask her if she knows when the place really gets crowded.Anyplace you can approach a lady has potential for immediate common grounds and interest.

Listen and ask questions. A good conversation goes a long way, and for women, it is a way to emotionally connect.Pay attention to what she has to say, and as you listen, think of follow up questions. It will make the conversation flow.

Get her information. Once getting to approach women becomes easier and more fun, take it a step further. If she interests you, ask her for a phone number, an email address, or any other way to contact her. This will achieve 2 great things. You will flatter her better than any compliment you can say, and this will make you feel much more confident about approaching a lady.

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