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Divorce Affair

6 Things You Should Discuss With Your Partner Before Marriage

We think about getting a lover and settling down while many do you bother about one of the possible outcomes of marriage which is "Divorce". Divorce is, unfortunately, a real part of some relationships. But there's a thin line between realism and scaremongering—even though divorce happens, that doesn’t mean it has to happen to you. While you can’t prevent life from getting in the way (and unexpected barriers and obstacles coming up) you can make sure your relationship is as strong as possible to withstand them. And, ideally, that starts way before you even get married. Divorce in marriage shouldn't be encouraged at all and that's why you have you ask your partner some questions before proceeding to marriage. Although you might imagine that everyone has those big, important relationship conversations before they tie the knot, you’d be surprised how many issues get swept under the carpet or ignored completely. Asking the right questions can start you on the right foot for married life—and help keep divorce at bay. "A lot of people start having these conversations when they’re engaged and then feel like it’s too late," In this article, I will state 6 things you are meant to discuss when your partner is before marriage.

1. What are your financial goal and how can we reach them: First and foremost, you need to talk about money. Money is the number one source of relationship stress between couples, so being on the same page early on is crucial. Asking about financial goals is a lot more positive and important. Ask questions like: How do you expect to share the expenses? Do you have gender-based financial expectations? Will we merge our accounts? How will we prioritize spending?

2. How can I help you when you are stressed out: One of the best things you can do for your partner is to learn how to help them when they’re down. Some people need reassurance, others need space, others need a pep talk—everyone is different. 

3. Do you want children and what will do if we struggle to get pregnant: Do not just assume your partner wants children in the relationship, you should ask to get opinions from your partner and at the same time how what he/she intends to do if you don't get pregnant.

4. What are your expectations about childcare and parenting: If you're both set on wanting kids and how many, great! The next question to ask is how to raise them. You can ask questions like; Do you have any gender-based expectations? Are you a feminist? Which is your ideal situation—do we both work and take care of the kids? Would you want to stay at home?" Also, discuss how each partner was raised and what you liked and didn't like about it.

5. What are your communication style: We all know communication is very crucial in a relationship, but it can be tricky to know how to have healthy communication if you both seem to have a different communication style. Does one of you need time to think things over? Does one of you speak off the cuff and then regret it? Does one of you communicate better in writing? Unlock the communication issue and everything else gets easier.

6. What are your deal-breakers: Everyone has deal-breakers. They may be about traditional issues—whether you want children, what religion you want them to be raised, what you need from a partner, but they can also look different. Your deal-breakers could be about where you need to live, passion projects you want to pursue, or career goals you need support to meet. Knowing these non-negotiables will give you a good sense of the landscape of your future and whether it works for both of you. If your deal-breakers fit together, your marriage has a much stronger chance of survival.

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