Marriage is a union that provides the stable platform upon which a family is raised. Marriage is a lifetime contract that exists between two people: mostly a mature adult man and a mature adult woman. But like many contracts, a marriage can be broken if one partner is dissatisfied and does not want to continue the union. In the event of this, a divorce is what often happens next. When we take a close look at our modern world today, we see an ugly trend. What is this ugly trend? The ugly trend I speak of is failed marriages. But what is happening? Why are there so many failed marriages in recent years? It is simply because of one reason which I would mention in the next paragraph.
Note that this article is specially written for women but it is however not limited to women so men can read it too.
Too much of television these days have made many fail into the guise that the only thing a marriage needs is love. Well, let me burst your bubble: that assumption is very wrong. Marriage is an huge responsibility and love is just one of the many important things this wonderful union needs to succeed. Almost as important as love is, there is another factor that determines an happy marriage and that is compatibility. Compatibility is that factor that keeps most marriages going. Your partner should be someone who can complement you not someone who is very different from you. Apart from compatibility, there are several other things need for your marriage to work. I won't tell you those things today but instead I will tell you those qualities you should avoid. Dear women, when you are about to settle down, please avoid these class of men:
1. A man who is not matured
Recall that in my definition of marriage, I said marriage is the union between a matured adult man and a matured adult woman. The word "matured" was not included in the definition by mistake. We have a lot of men out there but there are few matured ones among them.
What is maturity? Maturity is that thing that sets men apart from boys. Maturity is that thing that means a person is ripe in thinking and mentality. Don't marry a Mama's boy. Don't marry a man who can't think his way through situations. Don't marry a man who is not free from the influences of his parents to a certain extent. This is very important.
2. Don't marry a man who does not have an ambition
There was one very popular accronym during my secondary school days; the acronym is NFA. NFA stands for No Future Ambition. It was used to distinguish the serious students from the unserious majority. We, the serious students were highly favoured and held in high regard. Just like there was favouritism for the serious, ambition driven students of my time, so should there be a favouritism for ambition driven men when you want to marry.
Ambition is that thing that drives a man. It is that hunger to succeed, to be better than one was before and to never return to that awful position again. If the man you want to marry has no ambition, I would advice you to think twice.
3. Don't marry a man who is lazy
Laziness, since it was recognized as a word has never been once accepted as something good. If the man you want to marry is lazy, think twice. Don't marry a man who stays inside all day without doing something tangible. Don't marry a man whose prefers to bet away all his money or watch a football match throughout the day. I hope you are listening.
4. Don't marry a chronic gambler
As I wrote on the quality mentioned in number 3, I was suddenly inspired to include this. Don't marry a chronic gambler. I, personally, am against gambling not because of gambling itself but the many potentials it inhibits. If you marry a gambler, he might gamble away money you have saved up for important stuffs. He might gamble away your house. Prevention, they say, is so much better than cure. Avoid marrying a gambler.
5. Don't marry a man who is not caring, insensitive and slow to understand situations
Don't marry a man who does not know how to care for a lady. Don't marry a man that does not care about your feelings when he talks. Don't marry a man who doesn't know what to do in situations, these sort of men are slow witted and won't help you at all. Make sure you marry someone who cares about you more than he does about himself, marry someone who is very tactful when he approaches issues, marry someone who knows what hurts you and makes sure he doesn't do it.
I am not a know-it-all. I am well aware that there are many undesirable qualities one should avoid in a man, so I throw this question to my readers: what other undesirable qualities should a woman avoid in a prospective husband?
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