Phases of relationships
We all pass through these phases or stages in any relationship we find ourselves. Some of us are still in the process. Relationships are really difficult sometimes while other times, they are just the sweetest thing we could possibly find ourselves in. At the end, I just hope we all find peace and happiness at the end. With that said, here are the phases of relationship
1) lonely and single Phase
Here you may either be coming off from a bad breakup or you just fresh off puberty and ready to date. Either ways, your standards are as high as the walls of Jericho and the are complex. You see people talking about dating only talk guys, only rich me, only girls from their states and so on. You know what you want and your mind is set upon it. You are also proud being single and all your post on social media is always "single and not searching", but deep down you crave for the attention only those who are in a relationship have. You crave to be wanted and cared for. Gradually it drives you insane.
2) Two total single lonely strangers meet phase
You see this lovely person and he/she sweeps you off your feet. But you remember your former heartbreak or as a newbie, you remember the stories you've heard and you are extra careful not to let your guard down. This is the stage the call "hard to get". You are been extra careful not to make the same mistakes. This stage, people label you as rude, snub etc. Those who came to play must have gone, but that fine guy or girl still persisted.
3) Falling phase
like a storm, the walls of Jericho you built just came crashing down. They tell you that you have the sweetest smile and your "mumu" button is activated. They tell you that your eyes are like those of angel Raphael and your Senses flies off the window. You gradually start falling in love. You guys talk for endless hours. you text all day and keep late nights. Video call everyday and butterflies fills your tummy when ever you hear his or her voice.
4) In love phase
Now you are sure you are madly in love. You are just waiting for them to ask you out. Before they even say "date me" you've shouted "YES", but then you remember again what you've gone through. You both make promises not to break each other's heart. After they say they promise, your last defense breaks off. And when you have your first kiss, anything sense in you becomes nonsense. You've lost touch of reality. You are now madly in love. You want to spend the rest of your life with them.
5) this is the stage of "mumuness".
You spend endless nights naming your future kids. Making plans for the future. Saying the kind of cars and houses you would buy for each other. Making profound promises like you'll build a castle in the air for them. At this point their is no going back. You are now hundred percent into the relationship. You've both sworn to give it your best. You both in love
6) Curiosity Phase
Here is when the curiosity of each other's body becomes a thing. You would want to explore every inch of their body. Everything about their body Mesmerizes you. You want to know how many scars they have. Clean shave or hairy. Here you ask everyday for selfies which turns to nudes. Their body becomes your idol, you worship it. And then like a lightening strike, you guys make love. It's explosive. You want more.
7) Reality check phase
This phase could go in two ways
a) you realised you've been played with by a play boy or girl and you begin from phase one again after they've slept with you.
b) you two leave this crazy stage and become proper partners facing life for what it really is, which is hard. You'll begin to realise that you can't actually build castles in the air. That before you buy your partner Benz, you'll have to build a house for your father. Your senses begins to return slowly as your love deepens the more. The blindfold that covered your eyes begins to fall off but your commitment to your partner begins to increase.
8) this is the assurance phase
By now the scale that covered your eyes must have fallen. You guys probably only talk once a day and make love maybe once a week. You begin to see all their faults. It Dawns on you that he snores at night or that she sweats too much, or that you hate his brown teeth, or that you dislike the way she laughs and here it could go two ways;
a) you chicken out, bring up an excuse like babe it's not you it's me and leave or
b) you realise no one is perfect and you remember all the promises you made to yourselves and decide consciously to push on.
9) the real deal phase
You've passed all the fantasies that comes with relationships, you've realised no one is perfect and you two are still together. You guys sailed the storm. But then here is a bigger storm. You begin to talk about settling down. And then you two begin to see reasons why you shouldn't settle down together. You say she does not want to change her surname, you say her family's bride price is too much. She says she does not want to live in the north, you say you hate her father's guts, she says your mom's cooking sucks, you say you hate the way she talks to your colleagues, she says she wants only two kids but you want four, she says she is ready now for marriage and you are not. And now everything is just working against you. You have two options
a) chicken out and leave the relationship and go back to phase one
b) realise that you can't please everyone, and know that a happy partner is a happy marriage, that there is nothing you can't come to a compromise for, as long as you both don't loose yourselves in the end. You work on your differences and then get to the next phase.
10) Investment phase
You've invested so much in this relationship and you are ready to marry. You are 100 percent sure that they are the one for you. And then "boom", just like that curiosity sets in. You want to invade their privacy. You always want to know what they are thinking. And so the best way to do it is going through their phones. You set a trap. They are asleep. You open their phones and begin to go through their chats and then you realise
a) you realise they've been dating another person all along and just stringing you along to see who would propose first
b) you catch them cheating after going through their chats and you are heart broken
c) you see they are a flirt but you have no evidence of them cheating yet
d) they are faithful to you
At this stage you hate yourself either way for evading their privacy. You wake them up and confront them. You could either talk about it, forgive and move on or you go back to stage one
11) this stage you are paranoid. You forgave them or you didn't have any evidence of cheating but the thought of marriage scares you. In your fear you begin to listen to bad advice. You begin to talk to strangers just to feel whole and safe again. You are in a bad place and very vulnerable. It could go these ways
a) you end up cheating out of fear of the unknown or for revenge, you get caught and end up back to stage one.
b) you met a new guy and he gives you all the attention you need, you feel this new guy is perfect and you go back to stage one not realising it's a mistake.
c) you talk to your partner about your insecurities and they assure you that they love you more than anything.
12) congratulations! You made it to 12. And now you guys are the latest couples in town.
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