For women over 50 returning to the world of dating, it's hard to know what to expect. In many ways, dating men is still the same as when they were twenty - communication remains key, intimacy is still uncomfortable - but there are some key differences with age and experience.
We asked dating expert Valerie Gibson, author of Later Dater: A Guide for Newlyweds Over 50, and Ronnie Ann Ryan, dating coach for women, about six things you need to know about men in their fifties. Many years.
He wants someone close to his age. Despite advice from a Hollywood couple from May to December, a 50 year old man wants to date a woman his age. "Most men view women closer to their age because they understand and have similar experiences," says Gibson. "They know women over 50 understand the aging process and men just like them. Men want support from someone who understands them. They don't just want women with trophies."
He has an emotional burden. Men over 50 have lived - many are widowed or divorced - which means they may have residual trauma from their past. "If he has children or an ex-wife, the drama won't get better," said Ryan. "You have to decide if you want it. A lot of drama doesn't create love. You have to ask," Is it worth it? "
Gibson says otherwise: "Yes, he will have a lot of baggage, but so will you. Remember this. You may be married and / or have children. So it's important to be flexible on this matter." Ryan suggests rest assured that you are still his priority.
She longs for emotional support. Men who turn out to be unmarried in their fifties are often married for years and so continue to miss the friendship and emotional support they once felt together. However, her longing for intimacy may not be just that. "Men like and appreciate women's support," said Ryan. "You will seek emotional support with a woman and she will think, 'Oh, she has to like me,' and often all she needs is emotional support." He will only follow them for this via text and online. Then women will accept that they are in a relationship, but they are not. "What should I do? Clarify your relationship status, stat.
It can be ancient. Men in their fifties had come from the moment they had to take the first step. "Let him invite you, call back for the next meeting, and be a chaser," suggested Ryan. If you like his company, let him know. "Tell him you had fun and thank him for choosing a great restaurant or whatever," Ryan said. "Judgment is important. And compliment him - tell him he's funny, he's easy to talk to - whatever comes to mind."
He wants to be close. "Men in their fifties really enjoy sex. Many people think that men and women over 50 are unhappy, but that's not true," says Gibson. But Gibson says communicating what you're looking for is important, whether it's a relationship or something a little more relaxed. Attention is also paid to sexually transmitted diseases that are widespread in the age group over 50 years. People over 50 years of age have many unprotected partners because many of them are not used to contraceptives such as condoms.
Ryan advises ending intimacy until the relationship becomes monogamous, or at least the sixth date if you're wondering if it will last after the process. "Make sure you behave consistently," he said. "What he does is of the utmost importance, not what he says he will do." And remember that what a 50 year old man wants in bed is different from a younger man.
There may be a health problem. "A lot of women don't think about health issues. They think they're going to see George Clooney next. It's going to fit like a fiddle and all things beautiful," said Gibson. "But men over 50 have health problems and some of them are pretty serious. You can face diabetes, heart problems, erectile dysfunction ... you have to ask questions and decide what suits your needs and wants." "
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