Sometimes when someone says they are fine, what they really mean is, I am okay right now, in this second. I am coping. But, coping is the edge to something worse. Or, no, I am not okay but, you don’t want people around you to hear your judgment or pity when you think you are trying to be empathetic.
It is time to stop saying I am fine because it resolved nothing. When people was still upset, worried, anxious and overwhelmed became more aware of how many times everyone else says I am fine as a response.
Sometimes, maybe we really are doing well and don’t care to hash out all our ‘wins’ in an attempt of modesty. But, there's something on our minds and it is time to stop using I am fine or it is equivalents as an emotional barrier.
And Learning English is like learning how to drive a car or a bicycle, but unlike vehicles learning English takes place everywhere in the world. This can be why learning the essential rules of English Language becomes imperative if you are not ready to listen to the basic corrections in English.
If you sometimes hide your true feeling behind a mask, here are few ways to opening up.
1. Allow yourself space to feel.
Many times when we avoid sharing our feelings with others, it is because we haven’t given ourselves space to identify and process our emotions. We try to cover them up or engage in activities to mask the pain, but they don’t go away when we do this. Left unprocessed, our feelings tend to leak out in other ways. For example, we may overreact in unrelated situations.
2. Practice honestly connecting with people, even if you start small.
When you open your mouth, you are also opening your heart. And knowing that someone truly hears what you are feeling and understands you is soothing to the soul.
3. Stay open to the possibility of help from other sources.
Saying you're fine shuts down further conversation, and can deny you the benefit of serendipity. Often, we don't have a full grasp of the range of possible responses and solutions to specific problems right away.
4. And be kind to yourself.
We tend to beat ourselves up when we do not respond, act, speak, or think how others believe we should. This can put pressure on us to shift to meet everyone else’s needs without acknowledging our own mistakes most times.
5. Good mental health requires an honest self-assessment.
Claiming an exaggerated sense of well-being can make you start to believe your own inaccurate story. Saying you are fine, or constantly insisting everything is Okay at work or in life leads to unrealistic, exaggerated views of how well things are actually going.
6. Being an entrepreneur means you may face challenges to peak performance.
Recently, the media has reported on some visible demonstrations of this vulnerability from entrepreneurs and high-profile creative executives. This includes well-publicized suicides by the Nigerians.
7. Stop adding to your already-impressive stress levels.
Pretending everything is perfect creates additional physical and emotional stress. Saying you are fine could even add another set of expectations you feel obligated to live up to, and since you already struggling on that score, as it often results in a stress response.
Moreover, there is power in putting down your super hero cape, being vulnerable, and sharing your truth. You don’t have to hide, pretend, or feel bad about not always being the strong one. You are not weak, you are human, and you never have to apologize for that.
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