Hello lovely people!!!
It is with utmost pleasure, that I welcome you to another wonderful weekend. It is a time to rest, relax, and enjoy the fruit of our labour during the week.
Even if you don't have the money and resources to enjoy, but at least you have life and where there is life, there is hope, and you need to be grateful, happy and optimistic for better days ahead.
And there's no better way to do so, than cruising through these funny jokes, selected to make your weekend a blissful one.
All you need to do, is to spread the joy across to your family and friends by liking and sharing the post.
Enjoy the ride !!!
1. The amount of lipstick some guys swallow, all in the name of kissing, is enough to paint all the public schools in Nigeria. Abi na lie? π€·π€·π€·π€·
2. One aboki man called me, and I told him that "it's wrong number". The aboki called me back, to ask me if I knew the correct number.π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£
3. Just remove those four fingers, at the back of your phone and see magic.πππππ
4. We complain that the government doesn't keep their promises. The coke you bought last week, have you returned the bottle ?βΊοΈβΊοΈβΊοΈβΊοΈβΊοΈβΊοΈ
5. Other people cook food and put pepper, but Yoruba people cook pepper and put food.πππππ
6. If Corona decided to kill people who cheat in their relationship, are you sure you are safe?π€π€π€π€ππ
7. I'm so bored, I just want to throw a condom, next to my neighbours door who are married, and wait for the drama.πππππ
8. Just ask a lady the kind of man she needs, then sit back and listen how she explains the characteristics of non-living things.πΆπΆπΆπππ
9. One girl visited her boyfriend, but there was nothing in the house for them to eat. So she took him out, and bought food, pizza, ice cream and drinks, and they ate and drank and the girl did not die. Ladies listen, I repeat : the girl did not die.πππππππ
10. Principal: Why didn't you come to school yesterday?
Me : I attended a burial.
Principal: hmmm, that will not stop me from punishing you. Who died ?
Me: The first son of the cousin of my grandmother's youngest nephew, who is also the youngest brother to the woman who gave birth to my uncle's step son and was also....
Principal: Alright Alright Alright, please ! That's enough, just go to your class.π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£
11. I wonder who told bus drivers, that the perfect time to buy fuel is after loading passengers.βΊοΈβΊοΈβΊοΈβΊοΈ
12. Teacher: Who is your favourite celebrity?
Utobo: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Teacher: Oya spell the name
Utobo: Noooo my favourite celebrity is AY πππππ
13. The reason why you don't know most your relatives, is because you are not rich. Just make money now and you will see them introduce themselves. πππππ
14. 'I avoided error due to parallax'. If God does not overlook this particular lie, I swear no Nigerian science student will make heaven.πππππ
15. If you finish school in Nigeria, without learning any handwork, you will understand why Nigerian anthem ended with ' So help me God '. π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£
16. Marrying a Nigerian girl is agreeing to be asked "What will you like to eat today", every morning and get all your opinions rejected.πΆπΆπΆπΆπ€π€π€
17. Welcome to Nigeria, where 'it's like something is wrong with you' is not a question but an insult.πππππ
18. In London, if a girl looks at a guy, it's either the guy is handsome, or maybe she knows him from somewhere. But in Nigeria, if a girl is looking at you that way, it's either you resemble the bike man that ran away with her change or she wants you to pay her transport fare.π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£
19. That moment you are struggling for jollof rice at a wedding, and mistakenly disconnected the speaker wire with your leg.ππππππ
Now all eyes are on you πππ. You'll just realize that you have bellefull within 3 seconds.
20. Until you get married, you are single. Single is single.
. We just got engaged ππ ( single )
. I live with my boyfriend ( still single )βΊοΈβΊοΈβΊοΈ
. We have been together for five years now. ( super single )πππππ
. I call his mother and she calls me also. ( stupid single )π±ππ
. I stay at his place. ( Olosho single )πΆπΆπΆπΆπ€£π€£π€£π€£
. He post my pictures on social media and uses my picture as his dp. (First class single)ππππ
. He comes to my house everyday. ( End of discussion single)πππππ
. We have done introduction and my boyfriend travelled abroad. ( Living in bondage single )πππππππ
. All his family members knows I'm his future wife. ( you can never get sense single ).ππππ
. He has brought wine to my kinsmen last year. ( very much single ) βΊοΈβΊοΈβΊοΈβΊοΈ
. All his friends call me " our wife ". ( Aunty you are extremely single ). πππ
I know you must be laughing your hearts out right now.
Which of the jokes wept you off your feet?
Drop your comments below. Don't forget to like and share the post.
For more updates on politics, sports, entertainment, celebrity gists and more funny jokes, click on the Follow button, at the top right of the post, and you will be glad you did.
Have a great weekend ππ.
Content created and supplied by: Maduanusi (via Opera News )
COMMENTS
adeolaadebayo_01
07-17 21:15:58number 11
PatrickGodspowerNnamdi
07-17 21:02:55guy you try very well.
OkujiMunirat
07-17 19:41:12superb