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Spice up your weekend with these 20 rib-cracking jokes. Don't miss it.

Maduanusi
By Maduanusi | self meida writer
Published 7 months ago - 2 views

Hello lovely people!!!

It is with utmost pleasure, that I welcome you to another wonderful weekend. It is a time to rest, relax, and enjoy the fruit of our labour during the week.

Even if you don't have the money and resources to enjoy, but at least you have life and where there is life, there is hope, and you need to be grateful, happy and optimistic for better days ahead.

And there's no better way to do so, than cruising through these funny jokes, selected to make your weekend a blissful one.

All you need to do, is to spread the joy across to your family and friends by liking and sharing the post.

Enjoy the ride !!!


1. The amount of lipstick some guys swallow, all in the name of kissing, is enough to paint all the public schools in Nigeria. Abi na lie? 🀷🀷🀷🀷

2. One aboki man called me, and I told him that "it's wrong number". The aboki called me back, to ask me if I knew the correct number.🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

3. Just remove those four fingers, at the back of your phone and see magic.😜😜😜😜😜

4. We complain that the government doesn't keep their promises. The coke you bought last week, have you returned the bottle ?☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

5. Other people cook food and put pepper, but Yoruba people cook pepper and put food.πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ

6. If Corona decided to kill people who cheat in their relationship, are you sure you are safe?πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ™„πŸ™„

7. I'm so bored, I just want to throw a condom, next to my neighbours door who are married, and wait for the drama.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

8. Just ask a lady the kind of man she needs, then sit back and listen how she explains the characteristics of non-living things.πŸšΆπŸšΆπŸšΆπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

9. One girl visited her boyfriend, but there was nothing in the house for them to eat. So she took him out, and bought food, pizza, ice cream and drinks, and they ate and drank and the girl did not die. Ladies listen, I repeat : the girl did not die.πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

10. Principal: Why didn't you come to school yesterday?

Me : I attended a burial.

Principal: hmmm, that will not stop me from punishing you. Who died ?

Me: The first son of the cousin of my grandmother's youngest nephew, who is also the youngest brother to the woman who gave birth to my uncle's step son and was also....

Principal: Alright Alright Alright, please ! That's enough, just go to your class.🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

11. I wonder who told bus drivers, that the perfect time to buy fuel is after loading passengers.☺️☺️☺️☺️

12. Teacher: Who is your favourite celebrity?

Utobo: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Teacher: Oya spell the name

Utobo: Noooo my favourite celebrity is AY πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

13. The reason why you don't know most your relatives, is because you are not rich. Just make money now and you will see them introduce themselves. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

14. 'I avoided error due to parallax'. If God does not overlook this particular lie, I swear no Nigerian science student will make heaven.πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ

15. If you finish school in Nigeria, without learning any handwork, you will understand why Nigerian anthem ended with ' So help me God '. 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

16. Marrying a Nigerian girl is agreeing to be asked "What will you like to eat today", every morning and get all your opinions rejected.🚢🚢🚢🚢🀭🀭🀭

17. Welcome to Nigeria, where 'it's like something is wrong with you' is not a question but an insult.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

18. In London, if a girl looks at a guy, it's either the guy is handsome, or maybe she knows him from somewhere. But in Nigeria, if a girl is looking at you that way, it's either you resemble the bike man that ran away with her change or she wants you to pay her transport fare.🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

19. That moment you are struggling for jollof rice at a wedding, and mistakenly disconnected the speaker wire with your leg.πŸ™†πŸ™†πŸ™†πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

Now all eyes are on you 😜😜😜. You'll just realize that you have bellefull within 3 seconds.

20. Until you get married, you are single. Single is single.

. We just got engaged πŸ™„πŸ˜ ( single )

. I live with my boyfriend ( still single )☺️☺️☺️

. We have been together for five years now. ( super single )πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

. I call his mother and she calls me also. ( stupid single )😱😜😜

. I stay at his place. ( Olosho single )🚢🚢🚢🚢🀣🀣🀣🀣

. He post my pictures on social media and uses my picture as his dp. (First class single)😏😏😏😏

. He comes to my house everyday. ( End of discussion single)πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

. We have done introduction and my boyfriend travelled abroad. ( Living in bondage single )πŸ™†πŸ™†πŸ™†πŸ™†πŸ˜œπŸ˜œπŸ˜œ

. All his family members knows I'm his future wife. ( you can never get sense single ).πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ

. He has brought wine to my kinsmen last year. ( very much single ) ☺️☺️☺️☺️

. All his friends call me " our wife ". ( Aunty you are extremely single ). πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


I know you must be laughing your hearts out right now.

Which of the jokes wept you off your feet?

Drop your comments below. Don't forget to like and share the post.


For more updates on politics, sports, entertainment, celebrity gists and more funny jokes, click on the Follow button, at the top right of the post, and you will be glad you did.

Have a great weekend πŸ˜˜πŸ‘Š.

Content created and supplied by: Maduanusi (via Opera News )

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